


I'm Not Everything You Wanted Me To Be (Ambrollins Fanfiction)

by PunkRock13



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment, ambrollins - Fandom
Genre: Domestic Violence, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:52:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 34,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7550356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkRock13/pseuds/PunkRock13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth is stuck in an abusive relationship and has no friends or family to help him get out of it. Will his former best friend, Dean Ambrose be able to help him out? Or will he be too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Not Everything You Wanted Me To Be - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So, this is the intro to the new fanfic I'm starting. It will eventually be Ambrollins, but at the start Seth has a different partner. This fanfic deals with Domestic abuse, self-harm, suicide attempts and gay relationships. You have been warned. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy. Feedback would be lovely! :)

I'm not everything you wanted me to be.

That was the last thing Seth said, before he felt the fist of his lover connect with his face. The contact shocked Seth at first. It wasn't something that he had expected to happen. He just hoped that it wouldn't leave a bruise.

The first time it had happened was probably the worst. Not physically, but emotionally. Seth had never been purposely hurt by someone he loved before. It made him question a lot about his relationship.

Was it okay for his boyfriend to hit him if he got mad? He apologized afterwards, so it didn't really matter. Seth was just over thinking things.

It was an accident.

But then it happened a second time and a third and a fourth. On the fourth beating, Seth broke down. He couldn't stop crying and he panicked that his boyfriend didn't love him, but then he was showered with hugs and kisses from his lover.

It was an endless cycle of pain and apologizes. 

After four months of being abused, Seth gave up on everything. He stopped caring about himself and let his lover brainwash him into thinking he deserved the pain. By month five, Seth was a shell of his former self.

Seth's change in behaviour didn't go unnoticed. Both of his former tag team partners, Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose, could tell that something was wrong. They may no longer be friends, but they were once brothers and it was easy to tell when something wasn't right.

The two men blocked out Seth's problems for a while, not realizing the seriousness of it all. They just thought that Seth regretted his decision to join the authority. Or maybe he was stressed out from work.

It was nothing to worry about. But that didn't stop the nagging feeling in the back of Dean's mind, telling him that there was more to what he thought.

After a year of torment, Seth turned to something that would help stop his emotional pain. A blade. He had never understood why people self harmed, but after sitting on the bathroom floor watching the blood drip from his arm, he realized that this was something that made him happy.

It made him feel alive. 

It had gotten to the point where Seth only felt happy when he was slicing himself open. He would do anything to feel the cold, metal dig into his skin. He liked looking at the scars as well. It reminded him of all the good times he shared with his beloved blade.

It wasn't a good thing to do. It was unsafe, but Seth didn't care. He didn't want help. The abuse gave him a reason to cut. A reason to feel alive. He wasn't going to tell anyone about what was happening to him behind closed doors. He couldn't risk it.

Besides, no one cared. He had no friends and no family. The only person he had in his life was Jason, his boyfriend.

People saw them as a cute couple. Jason's friends even said they were the cutest 'celebrity' couple ever. If only they knew the reality behind it all. But Seth wasn't complaining.

He deserved it.

Especially, after what he had done to Roman and Dean. He deserved every ounce of pain that he got. He wasn't good enough for them anymore. He needed to be punished for his actions. Jason was just helping him with that.


	2. Here's a toast to things much better left alone - Part 2

"What is wrong with you?" Jason shouted, as he pushed Seth against the wall. "You can't do anything right!"

"I-I'm sorry." Seth whimpered, cowering down as his lover's fist connected with his face.

"How can you be sorry? If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place." Seth really couldn't remember what he had done wrong to make Jason mad, but he still deserved the punishment.

"You're a waste of my time. My life would be so much better without you." Jason yelled.

"Then why are you still with me?" Seth shouted back, shocked that he had talked back. The question earned him another punch to the face.

"I'm with you because you need me. Without me, you would be nothing. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes sir."

"Good. I'm going out." Jason sighed as he left the house, slamming the door on the way out.

Seth spent the next half an hour crying over their argument. Jason only hit him twice, so whatever he did couldn't have been that bad. He just wishes he could remember what he did wrong. Maybe then he could put it right.

Seth lifted himself off of the floor and headed to the bathroom, where he met up with his one true love. The blade.

He made twelve new cuts on his arm. They were deep, but not deep enough to kill him. What a shame.

After cleaning himself up and putting the blade away, Seth made his way to the kitchen and started cooking dinner. Chicken and chips with gravy was Jason's favorite meal, so Seth decided to make it for him in hopes that Jason would forgive him for whatever he did.

Seth ate his dinner alone and left his lover's plate of food in the oven for when he came home. Jason missing dinner was a normal thing, so it had become a habit for Seth to eat and then head to bed without seeing his boyfriend.

He preferred nights like this. When he was alone. There was no fear or threat.

Jason arrived home hours after Seth had fallen asleep. He ate his meal and joined Seth in bed, as if nothing had ever happened.

__________

The next morning when Seth awoke, Jason wasn't there. He was probably at the pub having an early serving of alcohol.

Seth headed to the gym and then made his way to work. He was a wrestler for the company WWE. Everyone hated him after he turned on his team mates, but he deserved to be hated.

As he entered the men's locker room, he got strange looks from everyone. Usually his co-workers would look away whenever he was around, but for some reason they couldn't stop staring at him.

He got changed into his ring gear and put extra tape on his arms to cover the fresh cuts. No one knew about his dirty habit and he wanted to keep it that way.

Seth didn't realize that he had a black eye and a bruise on his cheek, until Joey Mercury pointed it out.

"Hey Seth, how'd you get those bruises on your face?" Joey asked, attracting the attention of the whole locker room.

"Uh, what do you mean?" Seth asked, feeling nauseous from all the stares.

"You've got a black eye. What happened?"

"Nothing, I-I it was just from a match." Seth rushed out, grabbing his gym bag and leaving the room. He couldn't let his secret out.

What Seth didn't notice, was that Dean Ambrose was stood outside the room. Seth walked straight into him.

"Watch where you're going asshole." Dean groaned.

"Sorry." Seth mumbled, trying to walk away but Dean grabbed his arm, causing him to wince.

"What happened to your face?"

"Nothing." Seth sighed.

"Well obviously something happened. Why else would it bruise?" Dean asked, acting smart.

"Look, nothing happened alright? Why do you care anyway?" Seth said frustratedly, trying to walk away.

"Wait." Dean said.

"What?"

"What's up with your arm?" Dean asked, looking genuinely interested.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked, gulping loudly.

"When I grabbed your arm, you winced. I know my grip isn't that hard. So, what happened to your arm?"

"Once again, nothing happened. Can I go now?" Seth sighed.

"I know you're lying, I can tell when you're not telling the truth. We spent too much time together. I'm gonna find out what's going on with you." Dean stated, walking away.

Dean wasn't sure what to think. Seth didn't have those bruises after their last match. Dean hadn't even hit him in the face, so why was Seth covered in bruises? Anything could have happened to him. Maybe he got jumped by some asshole over the weekend. It was the only possibility that made sense.

No one had the guts to beat up Seth when he had his bodyguards and the boss was practically his adoptive dad. How did this happen? Dean was going to get to the bottom of this, but for now, he had a match. With Seth.

The match started off great and the crowd gave the two former brothers a loud pop. However, things started to go down hill half way through the match.

The tape on Seth's arm began to peel off. Only a small amount. It wasn't noticeable from a distance, but Dean was straddling Seth after a failed pin and what he saw shocked him.

Layers of cuts covered Seth's arm. Dean dreaded what would be under the rest of the tape. That must have been why Seth winced earlier when Dean grabbed his arm.

After the match, Dean pulled Seth to one side.

"Dude, what the hell happened to your arm? Why is it all cut up?" Dean asked, shouting in a whisper.

"Wait, what? You saw it? How?" Seth started freaking out.

"Some of your tape came off in the match."

Seth looked down at his arm to show a good inch or two of his cuts were showing.

"Shit." Seth whispered. "Did anyone else see?" 

"I don't think so, but what happened? Did you do it to yourself?" Dean had a look of concern in his eyes and it annoyed Seth. How could Dean be worried for him after everything he's done to him?

"I- look it doesn't matter right now. I can't let anyone in the locker room see this, they'll start asking questions."

"Do you wanna borrow my jacket?" Dean asked. Seth really didn't want too, but he was desperate.

"Yes please." He sighed.

Seth put on the jacket and walked back to the locker room with Dean. He got even more strange looks from his co-workers, when he entered the room wearing his enemy's jacket.

Roman looked confused and angry to see the two men walking with each other.

"Hey, you can keep the jacket on so that no one will see. I don't mind you keeping it." Dean whispered into Seth's ear.

"Are you sure?" Seth whispered back.

"Yes, but you have to promise me that we'll talk about this tomorrow." Dean's face looked serious.

"Okay." Seth agreed, feeling unsure. "Thank you."

"No problem, see you tomorrow." Dean walked away and headed towards Roman, who bombarded him with questions about Seth.

Seth was scared to go home. He would have to leave Dean's jacket in his car. If Jason saw it he would freak out.

Seth was really worried to talk to Dean tomorrow. What if Dean found out all of his secrets and told everyone? Seth wouldn't be able to deal with that.

Some things are better left alone.


	3. Thanks for your concern and calls - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Roman is a jerk in this but he's really nice in real life. This is just a story. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

The next morning, Seth awoke to an empty bed. Jason didn't come home last night, which meant he was either still drinking at the pub or sleeping over at a 'friends' house. At least Seth could eat his breakfast in peace.

Turns out Seth didn't have to leave Dean's jacket in his car after all. 

The thought of Dean brought back memories of the day before. Dean had found out one of Seth's biggest secrets and he wanted to talk to him about it. That was going to be an awkward conversation.

Seth got to work early and prepared for his match against Randy. He lost track of the time and soon realized that the large majority of his co-workers had arrived and made their way to the locker room, including Dean.

Seth decided to stay as far away as possible from Dean. He was trying to delay their conversation.

An hour before his match, Seth found himself sitting in the gorilla position, wasting his time and trying to hide away. The hiding didn't work very well however, when Dean sat right beside him.

"Hey." Dean smiled.

"Hey." Seth replied, looking down at the floor.

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

The two men were silent for the next few minutes, not knowing how to approach the elephant in the room.

"So, you never answered my question yesterday." Dean started. "Did you do that to yourself?" Dean asked, gesturing towards Seth's covered arms.

"Um, I have your jacket in my ca-"

"Seth, stop trying to dodge the question." Dean said sternly.

"Why should I tell you anyway? It's not like you care." Seth sighed.

"I do care for you. I know we've had our rough times, but I hate seeing you so down and upset everyday." The conversation stopped once again, only to be restarted a few minutes later by Seth.

"Yes."

"That's all I needed to know." Dean sighed. "Why?"

"Look, I know you're trying to help but my personal life is really none of your business." Seth snapped, defending himself.

"I'm not trying to intrude in your life. I just want to help."

"Well, I don't need your help. Leave me alone." Seth argued back, childlike, before rushing out of the room and hiding out in the bathroom until his match.

Once his match was over, Seth got changed and made his way to his car. As he was about to get in, Dean appeared.

"What do you want?" Seth sighed, fed up with Dean's questions.

"Um, my jacket?" Dean said rudely. That's when Seth realized that Roman was standing behind Dean. Obviously he didn't want Roman to know about their new found 'friendship.'

"Oh right, here you go." Seth gave Dean his jacket and got into his car, driving away before Dean could say anything else.

Seth arrived back home to find Jason asleep on the sofa. He reeked of alcohol.

__________

"Look Rome, I'm just saying don't be too hard on him. He's having a rough time at the moment." Dean sighed, as the two men entered their hotel room.

"Everyone's having a bad time at the moment. Seth is just overreacting for someone's pity." Roman replied, not buying the act.

"No, it's not like that." Dean tried to explain, but Roman didn't care to listen. "There's something really wrong with him, but I don't know what it is."

"Well, why are you getting involved if you don't know what's going on?"

"Because he's hurting himself over it!" Dean shouted. He needed to get that off of his chest.

"What do you mean?" Roman asked.

"He cuts himself. His tape came off in our match yesterday and I saw the cuts. That's why he was wearing my jacket. He didn't want anyone else to see it." Dean sighed.

"Still, why are you getting involved?"

"Are you serious Roman? Self harm can kill you. I'm trying to help him stop before it's too late."

"You always used to say that you wanted him dead. Now's your chance." Roman said with no emotion. He really hated Seth.

"I said that because I was mad at him. I didn't mean it." Dean argued back. "I don't know why I bothered telling you. I thought you would help him, but obviously I was wrong."

"I would have helped him a year ago, but it's too late now."

"You're unbelievable." Dean murmured, getting into bed.

"After what he did, he deserves whatever happens to him."

"What if I was in Seth's position right now? What if our roles swapped? Would you say the same about me?" Dean asked, outraged by Roman's words.

"Dean, that's different."

"No it's not. He's a human being too Rome, just like us. He's hurting. Bad."

"Whatever." Roman sighed. "I'm going to sleep."

"You're sick in the head, Roman." Dean growled, just before he fell asleep.

When morning came, Roman awoke with last night's conversation fresh in his head. This could be a great way to get revenge at Seth for what he did to him and Dean.

Roman could easily out Seth's little secret and ruin his world, it would be so easy to type a few words on twitter and publish them.

The inner angel in him told him not too, but the inner devil overpowered that thought and before he knew it, Roman had tweeted about the whole situation. Oops.

'Look out for the marks on Seth's arm. The little princess is having a hard time right now. #Oversensitive #Attentionseeker.'


	4. I cried and listened to the rain - Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of blood. You have been warned. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Seth awoke the next morning to find that he had over one hundred notifications on twitter. It was strange, because all of the messages had been sent to him within the last hour. Seth had never had this much attention before.

Once Seth got his bearings and realized that Jason wasn't home, he grabbed his phone and logged into twitter.

Seth was used to getting hate mail after breaking up the Shield, but these tweets were different. People were calling him 'weak' and told him he was 'an overactive teenage girl.'

He had no clue what they were on about until he saw Roman's name linked in one of his follower's tweet. Seth went onto Roman's profile and was shocked at what he saw.

'Look out for the marks on Seth's arm. The little princess is having a hard time right now. #Oversensitive #Attentionseeker.'

Was Roman talking about the self harm? How did he find out? The thought of not only Roman knowing, but the whole world knowing, made Seth feel sick. His secret was out.

The question still remained. How did Roman find out? The only answer would be that Dean told him. The two men are best friends so it made sense, but why would Dean tell Roman such a personal thing?

Seth didn't know what to do. He was sat in bed having a full blown panic attack. Everyone knew. He could lose his job over this. WWE wouldn't want someone who self harms representing their company.

The stares from his co-workers were bad enough, but now they would be even worse. 

Seth needed to calm himself down, before he passed out. There was only one thing right now that would help solve the problem and ironically it was the thing that started the problem.

Seth got out of bed and ran to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door in case Jason returned home. He didn't plan on doing anything stupid. He just needed to calm the sick feeling in his stomach.

The blade was always there for him, sitting on top of the bathroom cupboard, out of sight. He made ten new cuts along his arm. Each one soothed his pain.

It wasn't until he started feeling light headed, that he realized he had cut too deep. Maybe hit an artery. The panic set in once again.

Seth grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his arm, trying to stop the bleeding. It didn't work too well. The warm blood continued to ooze out of his body and dripped onto the floor. Seth finally realized how serious it was when he looked down at the floor to see a large puddle of his blood.

He unlocked the door and ran to his bedroom, grabbing his phone and calling the only person he could think of. Dean. As much as he didn't want to, he had to.

Seth dialed in Dean's number and waited for a response. The line was answered, but no one said hello.

"Dean?" Seth gasped out. "Dean I need your help, I-I need hozzpitaal." Seth began to slur his words, as he lost even more blood.

"Seth?" A deep voice questioned. Roman. "What do you mean you need a hospital?"

"Blood. I-I can't stop it. P-pass out." Seth began to feel really dizzy to the point where he could barely see anything.

"Um, hold on. I'll get Dean." Roman may have hated Seth, but right now something wasn't right and he needed to tell Dean about it, so that he could help.

Roman gave Dean the phone and left the hotel room. Was Seth being serious? Did he really need to go to the hospital?

"Hello Seth?" Dean greeted, confused.

"D-dean. Hoz-hospitaaal." Seth cried out.

"Where are you?" Dean asked frantically, worried for his friend.

"Home." Seth gulped. "Blood everywhere."

"Alright, I'm gonna call an ambulance and I'll get there as fast as I can."

"Kayy." Seth sounded drunk, but Dean knew that wasn't the problem. This was serious.

"I need to hang up, but I'll call you in a second okay? Just stay awake." 

"O-okay." Seth whimpered. His arm was throbbing as blood continued to pour from it.

Dean hung up and called an ambulance, before running out of the hotel room. Roman saw the worry on Dean's face and followed him.

"Dean, what happened?" Roman asked, running behind his friend.

"I don't know but it's bad. I've called an ambulance and I'm on my way over to his now."

"Do you want me to drive?" Roman asked, trying to help.

"Yeah, okay I need to call Seth again." Dean agreed. He couldn't deal with another argument right now.

Dean dialed in Seth's number numerous times, but got no reply.

The two men got to Seth's house at the same time as the Paramedics. They all rushed into the house and followed the trail of blood to Seth's bedroom. They found him lying on the floor, unconscious, covered in his own blood.

The sight of his former brother in such a life threatening state, made Roman realize how bad the situation really was and he felt really guilty for posting that tweet. What if Seth saw it and did this? The thought made Roman feel terrible.

Seth was rushed off to hospital in the ambulance and ended up having to get stitches and a blood transfusion. The doctors told Dean that if Seth had been found ten minutes later, then he would have been dead. It was a scary thought for both Dean and Roman.

Seth was asleep when Dean entered the room. He sat next to his friend and held his fragile hand. 

Roman stood near the door and thought about everything he had said the previous night. He regretted all of it. But most of all he regretted that tweet. What was he thinking?

Roman didn't plan on becoming Seth's friend, but he definitely wanted to apologize to him once he woke up. It was only fair.

Dean spent the night in the hospital with Seth, watching him as he slept. Hopefully he wouldn't be in the hospital for too long.

All of the hectic madness from the day had made Dean realize one thing. He cared for Seth a lot more than he thought.


	5. You think you're getting the best of me - Part 5

Dean is in the room when Seth wakes up. He is there to help his friend understand everything that was going on.

Roman is outside of the room, wondering whether he should go in or not. He knew that Seth probably wouldn't want to see him, but at some point he had to go in there and apologize.

After a few hours of soothing Seth, Dean exited the room to get some coffee. Roman saw this as the perfect time to sort things out.

Seth saw him straight away as he entered.

"Hey." Roman greeted, awkwardly.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Seth asked, still weak from so much blood loss.

"Um, I just wanted to apologize about the tweet that I put out. I don't know if you saw it, but um I thought I would say sorry anyway. I've deleted it and I know I should have never put it out in the first place." Roman sighed.

"I saw it." Seth mumbled. "And I don't know what to say right now. You told the whole world my secret. That's not cool man."

"I know but-"

"You did what?" Dean's angered voice came clearly into the room.

"I-I um."

"Roman what the hell?" Dean shouted. "You tweeted about this?"

"No, not about the hospital or anything. I just said something about Seth self harming."

"You know what? I was right last night, you're sick in the head. What is wrong with you? What kind of idiot does that?" Dean was furious at his friends actions.

"Dean." Seth interrupted getting Dean's attention. "Just leave it. I don't wanna cause a scene in the hospital. You'll get kicked out."

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry Seth. I'm not done with this conversation Roman. We're gonna finish it later, but for now I think you should leave."

Roman nodded and left the room. That didn't turn out the way he planned, but deep down he didn't expect it to.

Dean went over to sit at Seth's bedside. He was worried about what Roman had said. What if he was the reason behind all of this? Dean was the one who told him about Seth's problems in the first place. He could have got him killed.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, worried about his friend.

"Yeah I'm fine." Seth replied.

"Seth, why did you do this?" Dean asked, curious to know the answer. Did it really have something to do with Roman?

"Well, I didn't do it to kill myself if that's what you think. It was an accident. I just went a little crazy for a second." Seth sighed.

"I understand that but what made you do it? Was it the tweet from Roman?"

"Uh, I guess." Seth mumbled. "But don't blame Roman, there were other reasons as well."

"What were the other reasons?" Dean asked. He felt bad for bombarding Seth with questions, but it had to be done.

"Just stuff. I'd rather not say."

"Okay." Dean sighed. "But if you ever want to talk about something, I'm always gonna be here for you."

"Thanks. The same goes for you." Seth smiled. "When do I get out of this place anyway?"

"Tonight, I think." Dean replied. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Alright, I'll go and get us some lunch. Just sit back and relax, Sunshine."

"Don't worry, I will." Seth laughed.

__________

Seth is let out of hospital later that night. Dean asked him if he wanted to stay at the hotel with him, since he didn't know that Seth had a boyfriend who could 'take care of him', but Seth decided it would be better to go home. He was starting to get too close to Dean and it scared him.

He'd always had a soft side for Dean, ever since they met. It was something he had never talked about to anyone. He had built a barrier around the strange feelings when the Shield broke up, but now, after everything that had been going on, Seth's barriers were breaking down.

It was scary for Seth. He had a boyfriend that he loved dearly, no matter how mean he could be, but for some reason he also had feelings for Dean. It was confusing him. You can't love two people at once.

Dean drove off once Seth entered his house. All of the lights were off apart from the kitchen. Seth decided to go see if Jason was there.

He heard a loud grunt and saw Jason pacing around the small room.

"Jason?" Seth spoke up. His boyfriend quickly turned to look at him, with anger on his face.

"Where have you been? And why haven't you cooked me any dinner?" Jason asked, shouting.

"I was at the hospital. I had an accident at work, I'm sorry. I'll cook your dinner now. What do you want?" Seth said quickly, scared of what might happen.

"That's a lie. Why is there blood everywhere upstairs?"

"I fell and hit my head this morning, cracked it open." Seth whispered. Too many lies.

"Seth, it's obvious that you're making all of this up. If you bled that much and then had an 'accident' at work you would be dead, now tell me the truth!" Jason shouted.

"That is the truth, I swear." Seth pleaded.

"Stop lying to me!" Jason raised his fist and connected it with Seth's face, causing the weak man to fall to the floor.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Seth sobbed.

"No you're not. Just make me something for dinner. I'm going upstairs to clean up your mess." Jason stormed out of the room and went into the bathroom to mop up the blood, leaving Seth crying on the kitchen floor.

Seth forced himself to stand up and grabbed some food out of the freezer. No matter how much pain he was in, he had to make Jason's dinner.

It was just another day in paradise.


	6. Disarm the smoke alarm - Part 6

Dean got back to the hotel after dropping Seth off. He needed to talk to Roman and figure out what the hell he was thinking. How could anyone be so cruel? 

The room was silent when Dean entered, but the silence didn't last very long. Dean's anger got the better of him and he was ready to blow.

"Roman!" Dean shouted, waking up the Samoan.

"What?" Roman moaned.

"What do you mean 'what?' You know exactly 'what' I want." 

"Dean, it's late. Can we talk about this in the morning?" Roman sighed.

"No we can not! We will talk about this now, because your stupid and idiotic actions almost got Seth killed!" Dean shouted.

"Look, I said I was sorry and I deleted the tweet. What else can I do? I know that what I did was wrong and I regret it, but Seth is fine now so can you just shut up about it?" Roman sounded annoyed. And he was. Dean was crazy waking him up from his slumber.

"I don't know what else you should do, but you shouldn't have even done it in the first place. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking anything, really. I thought it would be revenge for what he did and I let my hatred take over, but I really wish I hadn't of tweeted it. If I had known what would have happened, I wouldn't have done it, I swear."

"Well, you did do it and I'm really pissed of with you." Dean grumbled. "Seth is my friend and I almost lost him again because of what you did."

"Why are you two friends all of a sudden? You hated each other last week." Roman asked, confused.

"I never hated him, I was just upset. I could never hate him." Dean sighed, looking down at the ground.

"What do you mean you 'could never hate him'? Surely you had to feel some sort of dislike to him after what he did to us." 

"No, there was no hate or dislike. Just disappointment and-" Dean sighed. "I don't know."

For some reason Dean had become quiet and rather sad. Roman didn't know why his friend had changed his emotions so quickly. He hated when Dean was sad, he would prefer it if the younger man was shouting at him.

"Dean, what's up man?" Roman asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired. I'm gonna go to bed."

"Alright, goodnight." Roman sighed, he knew he wouldn't get any answers out of Dean.

The truth was, Dean had had a crush on Seth since before the Shield had got together. He always had his eyes on him during their time in FCW. When he was told they were going to be a tag team he freaked out, thinking that it would finally be his chance to confess his love. But it didn't happen.

__________

The next morning Dean decided to visit Seth's house to check on him. They younger man had a lot of recovering to do and Dean thought it would help if he had some friendly company.

What Dean didn't expect was for a stranger to answer the door.

"Can I help you?" The man said, rudely.

"Uh, yeah. Is Seth home?" Dean asked, confused as to who the man was.

"Maybe he is maybe he isn't." The man sighed, he didn't look too impressed with Dean's presence.

"Oh okay, well could you just let him know that I was looking for him? I'm Dean." Dean raised his hand, hoping that the man would shake it, but he didn't. Instead he kept his arms crossed in a grumpy pose. 

Dean let his hand drop and stood awkwardly on the doorstep for a few seconds.

"Who are you by the way?" Dean asked.

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering. I haven't seen you around before."

"The name's Jason. I'm Seth's boyfriend." 

The look on Dean's face was pure shock. He was not expecting that at all. Seth had never said that he had a boyfriend. He had never even admitted that he was gay.

"Oh, Seth's never talked about you before. It's nice to meet you." Dean smiled. "Anyway, I should get going." Dean said, rushing to his car.

His chances of being with Seth were over. Seth had a boyfriend, he wouldn't want Dean.

Jason was confused by Dean's reaction. He thought that Seth's friends knew about him, or at least knew that he had a boyfriend. Why was he keeping their relationship a secret? Maybe he was cheating on Jason and Dean was his sex buddy.

Jason was infuriated. How could Seth do this to him? After everything he's done for that stupid little weasel, he goes and cheats on him.

"Seth!" Jason shouted. Seth came running down the stairs.

"Yes?" Seth replied, worried by his boyfriends angered tone.

"Who the hell is Dean?" Jason asked with fire in his eyes.

"He's just someone from work." Seth rushed out.

"Why doesn't he know about me? Why are you keeping me a secret?"

"I-I'm not keeping you a secret. I just haven't talked to Dean in over two years and in the few times I've seen him recently, we haven't talked about relationships." Seth was getting anxious.

"I bet you didn't talk about relationships. You were probably too busy getting his dick shoved up your ass!" Jason shouted, stomping over to Seth.

"No, n-no! That didn't ha-" Seth was cut off by a fist to the face.

He fell to the floor and was pelted with harsh kicks to the ribs and stomach. Jason was livid and he wouldn't stop. Seth needed to be taught a lesson. He needed to be punished for what he had done.

The beating went on for more than forty minutes. By the time it was over, Seth couldn't stand. He tried moving his body, but ended up passing out from the pain. It was too much this time. Jason had crossed the line.


	7. Do you feel the same inside you? - Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger chapter... Sorry! Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Seth was disorientated the next morning. Somehow he had made it up into bed last night, but he doesn't remember waking up. The last thing he could remember was passing out downstairs.

Jason must have carried him up to bed. The thought of it made Seth smile. Sure, Jason had some anger issues but Seth knew that he still loved him. There was a soft spot deep down.

Seth lifted himself up, off of the bed and felt an aching pain all over his body. This was by far one of the worst beatings he had received over the past year. He made his way into the bathroom and was shocked at the sight of his reflection in the mirror.

He had a black eye and a bruise at the top of his head, along the hairline. He had to be at work in less than an hour, there was no way he could cover this up. He had no make up to slather on his face and a hoodie wouldn't do much help, especially when he put on his ring gear.

Seth let out a long sigh and decided to wear a hoodie anyway. He also put on a really dark pair of sunglasses. It was the hottest day of the year, so he could get away with the glasses at least.

Jason wasn't home, so it was easy for Seth to leave the house. He had a small smile on his face as he thought about Jason carrying him to bed last night.

Seth kept his head down and faced the ground as much as he could, once he got to work. He decided to get changed in the men's bathroom instead of the locker room, because he didn't want anyone seeing his newest cuts from the other night.

Once he was in his ring gear, he re-applied his hoodie and sunglasses. Hopefully, he wouldn't attract people's attention.

The first person Seth saw, as he was walking towards the gorilla position, was Dean. The older man instantly grabbed Seth's arm and pulled him into an empty corridor. 

"You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend." Dean smirked, trying to play the role of a happy best friend, even though he was heartbroken on the inside.

"Um, I, yeah." Seth sighed. "Just didn't come up in conversation I guess." Dean gave Seth a confused look before reaching his hand out to Seth's face and taking off his sunglasses.

"Dude, why are you wearing sunglasses ins-" Dean paused, causing Seth to look down at the ground. "Where'd that black eye come from? You didn't have it when I last saw you." Dean was slightly shocked.

Seth simply shrugged, not wanting to carry on the conversation, but Dean continued to ask questions.

"Did he do this to you? Your boyfriend?" Dean asked, talking quietly.

"What? No, why would you think that?" Seth panicked but tried to keep a confident front.

"Seth, you can tell me anything. You know that right?" Dean sounded concerned.

"Yes I know, but there's nothing to tell you. Nothing like that happened, he would never hurt me. I was just a bit out of it yesterday after being in the hospital and I forgot that the overhead cupboard was open and when I turned around, I walked straight into it and caught my eye on the corner." Seth fake laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Dean wasn't buying it at all. He could tell that Seth was lying. He always did an awkward laugh whenever he lied.

"Anyway, my match is next so I gotta go." Seth smiled, quickly walking away before Dean could even process that he was gone.

Dean spent the rest of the night thinking about Seth and his boyfriend. Everything that Seth had said, sounded a bit off, and it was easy to tell that his boyfriend wasn't exactly Mr Nice Guy. He had a rude way of approaching people.

Dean didn't sleep much that night. The worry for his friend consumed him.

__________

The next morning, Dean went to visit Seth's house once again but something didn't seem right. It was almost noon, but all of the curtains were shut. Seth's car was in the drive, so he was most likely in the house.

From Dean's knowledge of Seth throughout the past years, Seth loved daylight and he hates when people keep their curtains closed during the day.

Dean was hesitant to walk up to the door. Maybe Seth and his boyfriend were having some 'alone' time. It would explain why the curtains were still closed. Dean would not want to interrupt that.

Something similar had happened a few years before, a couple of months after the Shield's debut. Dean and Seth were sharing a hotel room and Dean, returning late after a show, didn't even think twice about the 'Do not disturb' sign on the door. What he saw was disturbing, but they laughed about it in the end.

Dean took a step closer to Seth's front door. He heard a few muffled noises coming from the living room, which was where the front door was placed. 

Dean thought about knocking and raised his hand, but before his fist could touch the door, he heard a loud thud and a scream of pain. Dean knew that scream. It was Seth.

Panic arose quickly in Dean and he opened the, thankfully unlocked, door and ran into the house. The sight that he saw made him feel physically sick.

Seth was being held down against the floor, with Jason on his back, pulling at his hair with one hand and holding his throat tightly with the other.

Seth was screaming and crying in agony, but the struggle to breathe was becoming stronger. Dean froze, not knowing what to do, but he was quick to make his final decision.


	8. Betrayal won't come from my enemies - Part 8

Dean felt the burning flames of a fire roam around his angered body. His face grew an even darker shade of red, from fury, with every step he took towards the troubled couple.

He felt like he was walking in slow motion, but in reality he was running as fast as he could in order to help his friend.

Everything made sense now. The bruises, the self harm, the shyness, the constant sadness. Seth was being abused by his boyfriend for god knows how long. Dean shuddered as he thought of the possibility that this was happening during the Shield days.

So many thoughts rushed through Dean's head, but they all suddenly disappeared once he placed his hand, roughly on Jason's shoulder and pulled him off of Seth, pushing him onto the ground.

Dean threw himself on top of Jason and started throwing punches without a second thought. He was in a trance. The Lunatic had been unleashed. He was taken out of the trance a few minutes later however, when Seth started to scream.

"Stop! Dean, stop, you're gonna kill him!" Seth was sobbing, not knowing what to do. He had never seen Dean this angry before.

"That's the idea." Dean grunted, as he stood up and took a look at his 'victim.'

Jason's eyes were glued shut from the thick layers of blood that were drying on his face. There was no doubt that his entire face would be swollen within a few hours. His nose was broken, Dean felt the bone crack against his fist at some point.

"Who do you think you are, putting hands on Seth like that?" Dean asked, his voice was loud and rough, full of hatred and disgust. "You're sick!"

"Dean, calm down." Seth whimpered, taking a look at his lover's beaten face.

"No Seth, I will not calm down. This man needs to learn his lesson." Dean snarled. "If you ever lay a hand on Seth, or even go near him ever again, I will not hesitate to beat you until you can no longer breathe."

Seth was shocked to hear the words that were coming out of Dean's mouth, but what shocked him the most was the tone and emotion in his voice. Hatred, anger, fury. 

"And this thing between you and Seth-" Dean added on to his last sentence of speech. "Is over. Come on Seth, you're coming with me."

Seth didn't know whether to follow his friend or not. In any other situation, he would, but right now Dean was in the wrong mindset and that scared Seth. His boyfriend- ex boyfriend was also lying on the floor in agony, covered in blood and Seth didn't want to leave him in such a mess. He may have been a jerk, but he had done a lot for Seth.

"Seth!" Dean shouted, taking Seth out of his thoughts and walking towards the door. "C'mon."

"Okay." Seth whispered. He could already see a slight hint of care and compassion in Dean's eyes and he knew the older man would be back to normal in no time. 

Seth took one last look at Jason and said his goodbyes, before following Dean out of the house and into his car with a sigh.

"How're you feeling?" Dean asked once they had both put their seatbelts on.

"I don't know." Seth sighed once again.

The drive to the hotel was silent, but Seth couldn't help but notice Dean looking at him every now and then.

Once the two men arrived at the hotel Dean was staying at, Dean allowed Seth to take a shower and eat some breakfast. It was only the early afternoon, but Seth was already exhausted and didn't want to go to work.

"I can tell them you're sick if you want? You've had a traumatic morning, you deserve a day off to rest." Dean said, looking concerned for his friend.

"No it's fine. I've been through worse, I'll get over it." Seth sighed for what seemed like the one hundredth time that day.

Dean didn't know what to say, so he simply nodded. Seth wasn't going to let his mental health affect his work, he was a professional. But Dean knew that they had to talk about it sooner or later, before Seth cracked.

_________

Seth made his way out to the ring, later on that night. The fans could tell that something was off straight away. He didn't have the classic heel Rollins smirk on his face. He cut a promo and got attacked by the Demon Kane. Nothing too exciting.

Dean was in his locker room, when Seth got there. They drove back to the hotel and headed straight for the bed. They didn't plan on sleeping yet, even though Seth was exhausted, they just wanted to lie down.

Dean's mind was full of questions, but he knew asking them all at once would be too much for Seth to handle right now. He just wanted the answer to one thing.

"Seth?" Dean asked quietly, turning to face the tired man.

"Yeah?" Seth replied, voice croaky.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Seth already knew it would be about Jason.

"Were you and Jason together during the Shield?" Dean asked, worried for the answer. What if Seth had been abused back then and his friends didn't notice it until now?

"No." Seth sighed. "We got together a few months after the Shield broke up."

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know." Dean was relieved but still upset for Seth.

"That's okay."

There was silence for a few more minutes. Both men were slightly dozing off, when Seth spoke.

"Dean?" Seth asked, whispering in the quiet and dark room.

"Yeah?" Dean replied, with his eyes closed. He didn't realize how sleepy he was until now.

"This is gonna sound weird, but can I cuddle you?" Seth asked, sounding so innocent and fragile. It broke Dean's heart. What had Jason done to him to make him so sad?

"Of course you can." Dean smiled, although Seth couldn't see it in the dark.

"Thanks." 

Dean rolled over onto his side, facing Seth, and placed his arms around the younger man. The wave of warmth that surrounded the two was something that they had never felt before. It was unlike anything they had ever experienced. It was magical.

They fell asleep in the comfort of each other's arms within seconds.


	9. Mastering the art of miracles - Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! But I've made this chapter longer than the others to make up for it. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Seth awoke as the sun began rising into the sky. He could feel the warmth and comfort of Dean's body, laying next to him. The gentle rise and fall of Dean's chest soothed Seth as he watched the peaceful man sleep.

Dean's arm was wrapped around Seth's waist, causing Seth to feel an overwhelming emotion of safeness. The younger man smiled as he listened to his friend's quiet snores.

Their position reminded Seth of the Shield days, when the two men would share a bed since Roman needed his own space. The memories from the years before their break up rushed around Seth's head. He missed those days. And he missed those mornings waking up next to Dean.

At least today, as Dean lay sleeping next to him, Seth could forget about everything he regretted and remind himself of what true happiness once felt like.

Seth stared at his friend's face. At first he thought it would be weird, but Dean was asleep so he wouldn't know. Dean's lips were parted slightly as he snored, and he could feel the man's warm breath against his skin.

His cute little nose stood out to Seth. Dean was lucky to be blessed with such an adorable nose. Before he could process what he was doing, Seth placed his lips against Dean's nose and gave it a small kiss. He was lucky to have Dean as his friend.

Seth moved his head closer to Dean's so that their foreheads were touching. He placed a gentle kiss on Dean's cheek before once again falling asleep, in the comfort of his friend's arms.

Dean awoke an hour later, slightly confused by the body lying next to him at first, but then remembering everything that had happened.

Seth still had a black eye that looked pretty painful and there were fingerprint marked, bruises across his jawline. Dean felt bad for the younger man. How could anybody treat someone as innocent as Seth, so badly?

Dean then noticed how close he really was to the other man. Their faces were pressed together and they were holding on closely to each other. Dean enjoyed the warmth. It reminded him of the old days. The good and slightly less violent days.

Dean took in all of his emotions, there were a lot of memories flowing through his mind, before getting out of bed and ordering breakfast.

__________

Seth had awoke once again by the time breakfast had arrived, which was good timing because Seth was starving.

"What do you want, the pancakes or the eggs?" Dean asked, taking a sip from his coffee.

"I'll take the pancakes please, fancy something sweet." Seth smiled. There was a slight flirtiness to his tone as he looked at Dean.

"Alright." Dean passed the plate of food over, before taking the first bite of his own. "So, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did thanks. How about you?" 

"I slept great. I don't think I've been in that deep of a sleep for weeks." Dean laughed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Seth sighed, wanting to dodge the topic. "Just a bit sore, but that's not really what's bothering me right now."

"What do you mean? What's bothering you?" Dean sounded very concerned. He didn't want his friend to be upset.

"It's nothing, I'm just thinking about it too much."

"Seth, please tell me what's wrong. It helps to get it off of your chest." Dean sighed, moving to sit next to Seth on the bed.

"I just- You know how I..." Seth looked down towards his arms and gestured towards his cuts.

"Yeah?" Dean was getting more worried.

"Well, I haven't done it for so long and it's kind of like an addiction and I just really want to-"

"Seth, listen to me." Dean said sternly, grabbing Seth's hands in his and looking into his eyes. "You're better than that. You shouldn't have to feel that way. You're free from him, you don't need to keep hurting yourself."

"But that's the thing, it didn't hurt. It felt good." Seth emphasized his point. "I miss doing it, it was the only thing I got to look forward to when I was with him."

"But you're not with him anymore. And it shouldn't feel good Seth, it's not right and it's not healthy. It could kill you. Please just promise me you'll try to stop, I'll be there with you every step of the way." Dean begged, not wanting Seth to hurt anymore.

"I don't know if I can do that." Seth whispered.

"We can work towards it, okay? Just at least promise me that you'll call me when you feel like doing it and I can help you not to."

"Okay." Seth whispered again, wiping a tear from off of his face.

"Thank you." Dean smiled, giving Seth a hug. "It means a lot to know you would do that for me."

"I'd do anything for you." Seth replied, melting into the hug.

The two men were still hugging when there was a knock at the door. Their breakfast had already arrived and they weren't expecting and visitor, so Seth started to feel a little worried. What if Jason had come back for him?

Dean got up and walked to the door, opening it with caution and getting ready to fight incase it was Jason, but he felt slightly less nervous when he saw that it was Roman at the door.

"What do you want?" Dean asked, disgusted at Roman's presence. He still hadn't forgiven him for what he had done to Seth.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize for what I did. It was wrong of me to put out that tweet about Seth and I'm sorry." Roman said, genuinely sounding sorry.

"Well, I'm not the person you should be apologizing too." Dean replied, not sure what to think about Roman's apology.

"I know, I was gonna ask if you knew what room Seth was in. I asked at the desk but they said he didn't check into his room last night."

"That's cause he's with me." Dean sighed. "Come on in." Roman entered the hotel room and Dean shut the door behind him. "He's on the bed."

Roman walked over to the bed and saw Seth eating pancakes.

"Hey Seth." Roman smiled.

"Oh, hey Roman. What's up?" Seth asked with a mouth full of food.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behaviour and my actions. I'm really sorry that I put out that tweet about you. It was immature of me and I regret doing it." Roman sighed, feeling bad for what he had done.

"Well, I accept your apology."

"Really?" Dean and Roman both said at the same time, in shock from Seth's words.

"Yes really." Seth laughed. "I've forgiven people for doing a lot worse to me and you didn't know what my actions would be afterwards. I just want us to all get along and be friends again. I miss the old days."

"Yeah, me too." Roman smiled. "Thank you for giving me a second chance."

"You're welcome. Right, I need to shower, so I'll see you in a bit." Seth got up and made his way to the bathroom. Once the shower started running, Dean spoke.

"He's in bad shape y'know. He tries to hide it under a smile, but he's struggling underneath." Dean said, staring blankly at Roman.

"What do you mean?" Roman asked. He really wanted to understand what was happening to Seth, so that he could help him out.

"Well, obviously you know about the self harm?" Dean started. 

"Yeah." Roman replied, quietly.

"Seth started doing that because of his boyfriend, well ex boyfriend. I broke them up last night." Dean growled thinking about Jason.

"What did his ex boyfriend do?" Roman asked.

"He abused Seth. I don't know how long it's been going on for, but I caught him hurting Seth yesterday, so I beat him up pretty bad and told him that Seth's finished with him."

"What?" Roman was shocked. "How come no one noticed? Was it happening when we were in the Shield?"

"No, he told me it started after the Shield so I'm guessing it's been happening for a year, at most, but I can't be sure." Dean sighed. "But Roman, you have to promise not to tell anyone, especially your twitter followers. And if you do, I will not hesitate to beat you up until you're a bloodied mess on the floor."

Dean stared daggers into Roman. He meant what he had said.

"I promise." Roman gulped. 

"Good. Just to set things straight, I'm still not happy with what you did." 

"I understand that. I'm not okay with it either."

"Now that everything's cleared up, let's get ready for work." Dean said, not wanting to talk to Roman for any longer than he had to.

Their friendship was still on thin ice.


	10. Your beat's too obvious - Part 10

The day had gone pretty quick for the three former members of the Shield. Seth and Dean had a match together and travelled back to the hotel. Whereas, Roman tried his best to stay clear of the two other men. Sure, him and Seth had made up, but Seth was always with Dean and Dean didn't really like Roman.

Dean and Seth once again shared a bed throughout the night, for comfort. They enjoyed sleeping in each other's arms. It was very peaceful.

The next morning, Seth awoke and stared at Dean as he slept just like the day before. For some reason, he couldn't look away. Dean hypnotized him.

It didn't take long for Seth to realize why he was so comfortable around Dean all of the time. They could share a bed, share food, share secrets and just overall know everything about each other. They were inseparable. 

Seth had known Dean for five years but he had only just realized, during these past two mornings, that he was infact, in love with Dean Ambrose. Why had he never noticed this before?

Seth didn't know what to do. He didn't want to tell Dean about his feelings right now, incase Dean didn't feel the same way. At least if Dean turned him down, Seth could blame the 'false' love on his emotions. He had just broken up with his boyfriend, after all. 

But Seth knew that would be wrong. He had to do this the right way and if Dean didn't agree with him, then he would just get on with his own life.

He was going to tell him today. Or at least hint at it.

Dean awoke, staring into the eyes of Seth who was hovering over him, looking rather crazy.

"Can I help you?" Dean asked, laughing in his morning voice. Seth loved that sound.

"Good morning." Seth smiled. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did thanks. What's got you so happy?"

"Oh nothing, just been thinking about something." Seth grinned, giving Dean a hug. "I'll order us some breakfast, whilst you get ready for work."

"Okay, mom." Dean laughed, getting up and having a shower.

Seth felt like he may have overreacted. He let the love take over, which made him look like a crazy stalker, but Dean seemed to like it. Maybe he had a weird kink for stalkers.

Breakfast arrived just as Dean was getting out of the shower. His hair was still wet and little droplets of water were making their way down Dean's shirtless chest. Seth had to hide his small blush.

"So, do you wanna hang out after work today?" Seth asked, once they finished eating their blueberry pancakes.

"Yeah, sure. Where do you wanna go?" Dean replied, looking like he was genuinely interested in what Seth had to say. Seth had never gotten any interest from Jason.

"We could get some dinner or have a beer at the pub across the street?"

"Yeah, we could do both." Dean smiled.

"Okay, well I'll be with you after work anyway so we don't have to arrange a meet up location." Seth laughed.

"That's cool, saves time." Dean replied. "Anyway, I'm gonna go to the gym for an hour. Do you wanna come with me?"

"Um, I think I might stay up here. I'm not in the mood for working out right now. I do enough of that at work."

"Okay, I'll see you later then." Dean smiled.

"Bye." 

Seth had the hotel room all to himself and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. An hour of peace and quiet was something that Seth had been wanting for a long time.

His arms were itching, badly. He'd never felt the need to do 'it' so much in his life. He didn't want to break the promise he had made to Dean, but he wasn't strong enough.

He was happy, only seconds ago, but once Dean left Seth felt as though there was no love there. Dean had agreed to hang out with him, but he probably meant it as friends, which is not what Seth wanted. The reality hit him hard. Dean didn't feel the same.

Seth grabbed his gym bag and rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for. His best friend, his one true love. The blade.

It had been so long, since the cool metal had been placed against Seth's skin and he ached to feel the small burn, as he dragged the blade along his wrist.

He made the first cut, it wasn't very deep, but it bled and that's what Seth wanted. He started to make the second incision, but was interrupted by the hotel door opening. 

"Hey Seth, did I leave my towel in h-" Dean stopped dead in his tracks, a look of shock on his face. "What are you doing?"

Dean rushed over and grabbed the blade from Seth's hand. Seth just sat there, on the floor, making sure not to look at Dean.

"Seth?" Dean sounded angry. "Seth, just talk to me. Why are you doing this?"

Seth made no attempt to answer, which made Dean mad. He had just walked in on Seth self harming after he promised to call Dean whenever he felt like doing it.

"SETH, FOR GOD'S SAKE ANSWER ME!" Dean shouted, instantly regretting it when he saw Seth's small frame flinch in fear.

"I-I'm s-s-sorr-y." Seth whispered, starting to cry. He held his arms up to his face, as a way of protection. He had learnt to do that once Jason's beatings had become more brutal. "I-I'm so-sorry." Seth sobbed, waiting to be hit.

Dean felt like he was going to cry. Seeing Seth's body shaking with fear made him feel terrible. He should have known not to shout.

"Seth." Dean said gently, but Seth still jumped. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry for shouting."

Seth lowered his arms with caution, but relaxed once he saw Dean's concerned face.

"I-I didn't mean to m-make you m-mad." Seth sniffed through the tears. "I'm s-sorry."

"You didn't make me mad, I promise. I was just scared, because you were hurting yourself. I could never get mad at you." Dean soothed. "And I'm the one who should be sorry."

"I l-love you." Seth whispered, knowing that this was the wrong time. His thoughts were to get the beating over and done with in one go.

Dean didn't understand that Seth meant it in a serious way, he thought it was a friendship thing.

"I love you to, buddy." Dean smiled. "Can I have a hug?"

Seth nodded and leaned his weak frame into Dean's body. He let the older man snuggle him, as he continued to cry. He knew that Dean didn't mean it, but he was holding on to every word hoping one day it would be true.


	11. No one is gonna ruin all our fun - Part 11

Seth felt slightly awkward around Dean, during the rest of the day. He didn't know how to approach him after what happened that morning, but he had to think of something because the two men were supposed to be going out for dinner.

In a strange way, Seth dreaded the thought of going out to dinner with Dean. Usually he would have jumped at the idea, but right now was bad timing.

He hoped that Dean started all of the conversations, because Seth was not in the mood to put effort into speaking. He was too embarrassed and he was too shy. He was having an off day.

Seth was in a match against Randy Orton tonight and he was not one hundred percent on his game. He was very distracted, which caused him to lose the match. Hunter wouldn't be happy about that.

Dean was in Seth's locker room, waiting for him when he got back.

"That was a good match tonight, man." Dean said, trying to break the silence.

"Thanks." Seth mumbled back. It was going to be a long night.

"So, do you still wanna go to the pub for dinner?" Dean asked, seeing that Seth wasn't comfortable talking about his match.

"Um, yeah of course." Seth smiled, trying to put on a happy front.

"Cool, are you ready to leave? We could just head straight over to the pub if you want."

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Alright, let's go." Dean smiled. "I recommend the stake."

"Of course you would. You're addicted to that stuff." Seth laughed quietly, but Dean still heard it.

The two men made their way over to the nearby pub and sat down at a booth towards the back of the building. Seth ordered a glass of water and a pasta salad and Dean ordered a glass of coke and, of course, a steak.

"Why have you been so quiet today?" Dean asked, as he stirred his drink with a straw. Seth simply shrugged and focused his attention on the glass of water in front of him. "If it's to do with this morning, then I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to shout."

"It's fine. It doesn't matter." Seth murmured.

"But it does matter, you've just got out of an abusive relationship, someone shouting at you is gonna bother you whether you want it to or not." Dean said, trying not to sound rude.

"Seriously Dean, I don't care about that. Can we just enjoy a night out without talking about him?"

"Yeah of course we can." Dean sighed. "So, have you had anymore death threats from hardcore Ambrose fans?"

Seth laughed at that, so much so that he spit out all of the water, that he had just drank, out of his mouth. When he saw Dean laughing at his misfortune, he started to laugh more until his sides started to hurt.

Dean grabbed a napkin and helped clean up the water.

"By the way, no I haven't had any death threats." Seth giggled. "I think."

"Well, that's good then. Are you done laughing now?" Dean's sarcastic tone made Seth laugh once again. "At least I cheered you up."

"Yeah, you did." Seth replied, trying to catch his breath.

Their food finally arrived and they ate it pretty quickly, as they wanted to get back to the hotel before it got dark. They finished their food and made their way back to the hotel. Once they arrived outside of Dean's hotel door, Dean stopped Seth from entering the room.

"Hey, I really enjoyed tonight and, just hanging out with you tonight made me realize how much I missed you. I'm glad you're my friend again." Dean smiled.

Seth didn't know how to reply. He didn't want to be Dean's friend, he wanted more. He knew he would regret his next actions, but he had to do it. Now was a good a time as any.

Seth grabbed Dean's hand and placed his other hand on his waist. He leaned in closer towards Dean's body and looked up at his crushes face. Dean was looking down at him with want in his eyes. That was the only consent Seth needed before he attached his lips to Dean's.

Seth's knees became weak and he felt like he was going to collapse. Dean could sense this, so he lifted they younger man up and held his thighs, as Seth wrapped his legs around Dean's waist and placed his arms around Dean's neck.

The kiss became very heated, very quickly. Dean took control and dominated Seth's mouth with his tongue. 

Dean used one hand to unlock and open the hotel door, before walking in. He used Seth's body to close the door and held Seth against the door as they kissed.

After a few minutes of making out against the door, Dean moved over to the bed and gently placed Seth's body against the mattress. They continued to kiss. Dean placed his hand under Seth's T-shirt and ran his fingers up and down Seth's side.

Dean was about to take Seth's T-shirt off, when he heard someone cough. He quickly removed his lips from Seth's, eyes wide, and looked over to the other bed in the hotel room. Roman.

"What are you doing here?" Dean said, breathing quickly.

"Well, I was sleeping but then I was rudely awoken by you two." Roman replied, arms crossed.

"But why are you in mine and Seth's hotel room? You've got your own room."

"Seth said I could stay in here tonight. He told me that he wanted us to talk in the morning."

"Did you say that?" Dean asked Seth, looking down at the younger man who was still lying underneath him.

"Um, yeah." Seth gulped. "But I forgot about it when we got here. Sorry we woke you Roman."

"Don't worry about it man, I can leave if you want."

"Nah, you might as well stay now that you're here." Dean sighed. "I'm gonna go to bed."

Dean got off of Seth and lay down next to him, placing an arm around his waist.

"Goodnight." Dean whispered.

"Night." Seth whispered back.


	12. What's happening to me? - Part 12

Seth awoke to an empty bed. He could hear the shower running, so he guessed that Dean was having a shower before work. Roman was still sleeping on the other bed, but he started to stir awake when Seth threw a pillow at him.

Roman groaned in annoyance from being woken up, but soon lost the attitude when he saw the worried look on Seth's face.

"What's up Seth?" Roman asked, wiping his tired eyes.

"I need to talk to you about something, sorry to wake you but Dean's in the shower so this is the only chance I've got." Seth replied, fiddling with his hands.

"Sure, you can talk to me about anything. What's wrong?"

"Well, I kind of um, like Dean." Seth said shyly, looking down at his moving hands.

"What do you mean?" Roman already knew the answer, but he thought talking about it more would help Seth.

"I think I like his as more than a friend." Seth replied.

"That's cool I guess, I mean, you just got out of a bad relationship so you might be a bit all over the place with who you're into, but if you're sure then I think you should go for it. I'd love to tell you that Dean likes you back, but we haven't had a conversation in ages, so I'm not sure." Roman sighed.

"I know that I like him and I'm not confused, I'm just scared of him not liking me back."

"Well, you won't know until you ask. I'm sure it'll be fine." Roman smiled. "Anyway, I'm gonna order some breakfast for all of us and then I'll head down to the gym, so that you and Dean can have some alone time."

"Okay." Seth said awkwardly.

"Oh, and by the looks of what happened last night, I think he's into you." Roman smirked.

"Shut up." Seth said, slightly embarrassed. "But thanks for your help."

"No problem. That's what friends are for." Roman replied.

Dean got out of the shower once breakfast had arrived. They all ate their breakfast rather quickly. Dean was a little concerned about Seth, he hadn't spoken to him all morning. He just hoped he wasn't upset about the kiss last night, maybe it was a bit rushed.

After breakfast, Roman made his way to the gym and left Dean and Seth alone in the hotel room.

"Hey Seth, why are you so quiet today? Is it because of last night?" Dean asked, not wanting things to be awkward between them.

"No, it's got nothing to do with that, I promise." Seth replied.

"Then what's wrong? I hate it when you're so quiet." Dean asked, sitting next to his friend.

"Um, I don't really know how to tell you." Seth sighed. "It's kind of hard to say."

"You can tell me anything, you know that." Dean smiled.

"Yeah, but I don't know if I can tell you this. I'm scared of your reply."

"There's nothing to be scared of. I'm not gonna murder you for talking to me." Dean laughed.

Seth didn't know what to do. He knew that Dean wouldn't stop bugging him until he got an answer from the younger man. It was now or never.

"I like you." Seth blurted out, expecting Dean to lash out at him.

"I like you too man, you're my best friend." Dean smiled, not understanding what Seth meant.

"No, I mean, I like you a lot." Seth emphasized. "Like, more than a friend."

"Wait, I don't understand what you mean."

"I want you to be my boyfriend." Seth rushed out, feeling sick.

"Oh, Seth I, isn't it a bit rushed? You just broke up with Jason, maybe you're confused-"

"I'm not confused! I know who I like and who I don't like." Seth was getting upset, was Dean really rejecting him?

"Look, maybe we should wait a few weeks until we're both ready. I've only just started talking to you again, recently."

"I knew this would happen, this is why I didn't wanna tell you." Seth cried out, standing up and rushing out of the hotel room.

Dean didn't chase after him, he was in too much shock. He couldn't believe that Seth actually liked him. No one had liked him like that for so long. The kiss last night actually meant something, to both of them.

But Dean said no.

What was he thinking? He liked Seth too and he was more than ready to date him. Why did he say no?

Seth didn't know what to do or where to go. He had expected this to happen, but at the same time he wasn't expecting this at all. He trusted Roman's judgment, but he was wrong. Dean didn't like him like that.

It was hard to understand everything that was going on. Seth was in a trance of self hate and disgust, as he walked down the crowded streets, in search of a place to go.

He hadn't thought about the aftermath of rejection. He should have thought of a place to hide at, whilst he grieved Dean's non-existing love for him. There was nowhere for him to go, except the one place he knew all too well. Home.

Seth ran to his previous house and hoped that Jason wasn't there. He needed to be alone right now. He had thought about what he was going to do, when he was strolling the streets and he had his mind set on one thing.

He needed to get rid of the problem.


	13. In a dream on the way to the hospital - Part 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very sad and descriptive and triggering! You have been warned. I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Seth rushed upstairs into the bathroom. Jason wasn't home, which made Seth very happy. He didn't want any distractions. He had thought about many different ways to do this and all of them sounded doable. 

He wanted to make sure that his attempt worked, so he decided on using two methods at once. The first thing he picked out was a large bottle of painkillers. Only a few had been used, when Jason broke his arm in a car accident, so the bottle was pretty much full.

Seth needed something to wash the pills down with, so he grabbed the first liquid substance that he could find in the small bathroom. Bleach.

He was going to end this today. No one was going to stop him.

Seth opened up the bottle of pills and the bleach, which was also full, and placed them on the floor next to where he sat. He reached over to the door and locked it, so that no one could get in until it was too late.

He divided the pills into groups of five and swallowed the first two groups. Then he washed them down with a mouthful of bleach. The smell and taste of the fumes made Seth gag. It was one of the worst things he had ever tasted, but he couldn't risk throwing up the pills, so he powered through the horrible taste of bleach and continued the process.

Seth had five pills left and about three mouthfuls of bleach to be swallowed. He felt dizzy and nauseous. His stomach was churning and his head was pounding. He couldn't feel his legs and his hands were starting to become numb.

He swallowed that last of the pills and bleach, before leaning against the wall in agony. He had never felt this much pain before. It was excruciating.

After a few minutes, Seth began to cough up blood. Lots of it. The red substance was pouring out of the young man's throat, onto the floor, but Seth couldn't do anything about it. He was unable to move his body.

He finally passed out after another minute of unbearable pain. It was finally over.

__________

Dean had tried calling Seth sixteen times over the past hour, but he got no reply. He started to get worried when he remembered Seth's past with self harm. It would be so easy for Seth to accidently hit an artery and bleed out.

Roman arrived back at the hotel room, to find Dean panicking.

"What's wrong, man?" Roman asked, also starting to worry when he saw that Seth was gone.

"I think Seth's in trouble. I need to find him, but he won't answer his phone." Dean cried out. 

"Okay, calm down. I'm sure he's okay. Let's just think of where he might have gone." Roman replied, trying to sooth Dean as much as he could.

"I don't know where he could have gone. He's been living in a hotel with me for the past week and he can't got to his house because-" Dean paused, thinking for a second. "Wait, what if he's gone back to his old house?"

"Let's go over there and check." Roman said, grabbing Dean's arm and running out onto the streets. 

Luckily, there was a taxi passing by, so they got to Seth's house quicker. The front door was open and there were no signs of Jason, but it felt like someone was in the house.

Dean ran upstairs, shouting Seth's name in hopes that he would answer. Whereas, Roman stayed downstairs to look for his friend.

"Roman!" Dean called. "Come up here, I think I've found him." Roman rushed upstairs to find Dean stood outside the bathroom door. "It's locked." Dean whimpered.

Roman started hitting his shoulder against the door, trying to break it down. It was the only way to get into the room. It didn't take very long to give way, but Dean felt like every second was an hour.

Roman pushed the door out of the way and saw Seth's legs on the floor in front of him.

"I'll call an ambulance." Roman said, grabbing his phone and dialing in the number.

Dean rushed into the room and was winded by the sight in front of him. Seth was laying against the wall, covered in blood and vomit. He was unconscious and barely breathing.

"I can't find a pulse." Dean said, his breathing quickening.

"The ambulance is on it's way. It'll be a few minutes." Roman said, kneeling down next to Dean. "He'll be okay, the doctors and nurses will help him."

"But, he's barely breathing." Dean sobbed.

"He'll be okay." Roman repeated, not knowing if he was trying to convince Dean or himself.

The ambulance arrived and Seth was loaded onto a stretcher and rushed to the hospital. Dean rode with him in the ambulance, whilst Roman called a taxi.

Seth flatlined twice in the ambulance. The first time, he was officially dead for two minutes and the second time was only thirty seconds.

He was breathing however, when they arrived at the hospital. Seth was rushed into theater under life threatening conditions. Dean and Roman sat, worried sick in the waiting room not knowing if Seth would make it or not.


	14. As my body lays before you - Part 14

It had been two hours since Dean and Roman arrived at the hospital with Seth, who was barely hanging onto life. For Dean, it felt as if he had been sat in the waiting room for days, dreading to hear any bad updates on Seth's condition.

The guilt was eating Dean alive, the longer he sat in silence waiting to know any details about Seth. There was no note to say why Seth had done it, but Dean knew for a fact that he played a big part in all of this.

He shouldn't have said no to Seth, when he told him how he felt. Dean didn't know what to do at the time. He liked Seth, but everything was happening too fast and Dean was worried about hurting Seth somehow, which is exactly what he ended up doing.

The whole situation was too overwhelming for Dean and he soon found himself crying into his hands. Roman was shocked to see Dean crying, he only cried when something really bad happened, so this was as good a time as any.

"Hey, calm down." Roman said, wrapping an arm around Dean's shoulders and attempting to sooth him. Roman was just glad that they were the only two people in the waiting room. "He's gonna be fine, there's no need to worry."

"N-no, he's not. He's n-not gonna be f-fine." Dean sobbed, his body shaking from heartbreak and anger. "It's a-all my fault."

"Don't be stupid. It's got nothing to do with you, it was Seth's decision to do this not yours." Roman said sternly, not understanding what Dean meant.

"But it i-is though. If I h-hadn't of said n-no, then this wouldn't have ha-ppened."

"What do you meant?" Roman asked, not knowing what had happened between Dean and Seth.

"He told me that he liked me, a-and I said that it was too ru-ushed." Dean burst out into more tears. The guilt was killing him.

"Look Dean, Seth might've been upset because of that, but there would have been other reasons behind it. Don't blame yourself for this." Roman sighed, feeling bad for telling Seth to let his feelings known to Dean.

"I'm scared." Dean whispered.

"Don't be." Roman replied, quietly. The tension in the room had started to calm down slightly.

"What if he doesn't m-make it?"

"He will. Stop saying things like that." Roman shouted. The tension was back.

The two men were waiting in silence for another three hours, before finally getting a visit from one of Seth's doctors.

"Hello gentlemen, my name is Doctor Marakett and I am one of the lead doctors working on Seth at the moment." Roman and Dean shook the doctor's hand and followed him into his office.

"Now, there is a lot of information I need to give you, before you visit Mr Rollins." Marakett stated.

"He's not dead?" Dean asked, shocked. He thought for sure that the doctor was taking them to his office, somewhere 'private', to tell them bad news.

"No, he's not. But there are a few complications."

"What complications?" Dean asked desperately, he needed answers.

"Well, Mr Rollins is in a very bad way right now. It took us hours to fully stabilize him and to be honest with you, he's still not being viewed as someone who will improve. He is currently in a medically induced coma and needs a ventilator to breathe. We pumped his stomach, but the damage had already been done."

"Wait, so if he's on a ventilator that means he can't breathe on his own, so if you were to unplug the machine he would be dead?" Dean started to tear up again, the thought of Seth dying made him sick to the stomach.

"He can breathe, but it's not strong enough yet." Doctor Marakett sighed. "The substance that he drank has given him internal burns in his stomach and oesophagus. The burns are curable, but we thought it would be best to keep him in a coma whilst his body heals, as it is an excruciatingly painful process."

The doctor hadn't finished talking about Seth's condition, but Dean was already struggling to take it all in.

"The painkillers have caused damage to his liver, so we will be treating that as well." Doctor Marakett stated. 

"What are the chances that he'll make it?" Dean asked, even more anxious than before.

"Honestly, the chances aren't very high. There have been patients that have come into the hospital in a condition similar to Seth's, and they have recovered and survived, but that's only a 1 in every 5 chance." Marakett sighed. 

"Okay, thank you doctor." Roman spoke up, for the first time since they had entered the office. "Can we see him now?"

"Of course, follow me."

Dean wasn't sure if he was ready to see Seth yet. For the past five hours all he wanted to do was stand next to Seth's bedside, but now after hearing everything the doctor had to say, he was scared to take a glance at Seth's almost lifeless body.

He doesn't remember walking down the many corridors of the hospital. It was all a blur of worry and guilt, but he was now outside the door of his best friends hospital room.

Dean took a deep breath before opening the door slightly and taking a peek inside. He instantly shut the door, when he saw Seth. He couldn't bare to see him in such a state. He couldn't enter the room.

Roman could sense the distress radiating off of Dean, and decided to open the door for himself. He had to see what had made Dean react the way he did.

Roman realized why Dean was so horrified by the sight of his best friend, as soon as he walked into the room.

Seth was lying flat on a bed, his chest gently rising and falling to the rhythm of the ventilator. He had large tubes down his throat, which were taped into place around his face with medical tape. 

There were needles stuck all over his body and his head was taped onto the side of the bed to keep it in place, during his time in the coma. He also had a neck brace on, as his limp body was unable to support the neck and spinal cord by itself.

It was a sickening sight to see, one that both Roman and Dean wished they had never seen in the first place. But they needed to be there for Seth and they were going to do all it took to make sure he stayed alive.


	15. In here I spend everyday in captivity - Part 15

Dean was currently sitting at Seth's bedside, holding the younger man's needle covered hand in his own. He had been there with Seth all night, he didn't dare to leave him during his time of need.

Roman had contacted Hunter to let him know about what had happened. The CEO was shocked to say the least, but allowed Roman and Dean to take as much time off as they needed. It kind of freaked Roman out that Hunter could be so kind.

The Authority were coming to the hospital later on in the afternoon, to visit Seth and see how bad his condition really was.

He hadn't improved since last night. He was still on the ventilator and in a coma, but the doctors said not to expect any improvement for at least a week. Dean hadn't slept all night, he wanted to make sure that Seth was okay when the doctors weren't in the room.

Roman had gone back to their hotel room to get some spare clothes for Dean and a travel pillow, for when Dean slept over night at the hospital. Roman knew that Dean wouldn't be leaving Seth's room. The only reason he would leave the room was if he needed a bathroom break.

Roman arrived back at the hospital and made his way up to Seth's room. He had to prepare himself before going in, as he knew that seeing his friend so lifeless would upset him again.

It wasn't much of a surprise to Roman, when he saw Dean looking rather sleep deprived and sitting in the same position that Roman left him in the night before.

"Dean, I've got you some clothes and a travel pillow. Hunter and the rest of the Authority are coming to see Seth in an hour or so. How is he?" Roman asked, sitting down next to Dean.

Dean didn't reply. Instead, he rubbed at his sore eyes as a few stray tears fell down his cheeks.

"Look, I know it's hard for you but you can't lock yourself away from everybody. You need to talk." Roman sighed. "Has he made any improvements since last night?"

"No." Dean mumbled weakly, trying to stop himself from crying.

"Oh." For some reason, Roman was expecting Seth to recover quickly. He thought that he would have made at least a few improvements in the past twelve hours. "Do you want me to watch him, so that you can sleep?"

"Nah, it's fine. I'm not tired." Roman could tell that the younger man was lying. He looked like he was about to pass out, but now was not the time to start an argument.

The two men stayed silent for the next hour, until the Authority arrived. The group consisted of Hunter, Stephanie, Randy Orton, kane, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. Their faces showed a mixture of shock, pain and surprise. They didn't realize how bad Seth was.

"Uh, I don't know what to say. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this." Hunter force out, trying to break the silence. It was especially hard for him and Steph to take in, as they had treated Seth like their son.

"Yeah, me too." Roman replied. "Thanks for coming to visit him, I'm sure he would appreciate it."

"No problem. It's not like we were gonna ignore what had happened. Seth means a lot to us." Stephanie cried out.

"I didn't even realize how upset he was. He never showed any signs of being depressed." Jamie said, finding it hard to pronounce his words.

"Didn't you see his arms or the bruises plastered around his body?" Dean spoke up, for the first time since Hunter's group had arrived, in disgust. The Authority looked shocked.

"What do you mean?" Hunter asked.

"He was being abused by his stupid boyfriend and he was self harming. It's not that hard to pick up on." 

"What? Why didn't I know about this sooner? I could have helped him." Hunter said, angrily.

"He didn't want anyone to know." Roman sighed.

"Do you know how long he'll be in here for?" Stephanie asked, wiping away her tears with a tissue. She cared about Seth a lot.

"No. It all depends on when he wakes up." Roman replied.

"Well, like I said on the phone. Both of you can have as much time off of work as you want. It's the least we could do. We need someone here to keep an eye on Seth for us." Hunter addressed Dean and Roman. "We've gotta get going. Call me if anything happens."

"Will do, thanks for visiting."

"No problem, catch you later." 

The Authority left and the room became silent once again. Dean sighed in relief, he couldn't stand having all of those people in the room.

The day was quickly turning into night. Roman was just about to leave and head back to the hotel, when an unknown man came rushing into the room, looking rather rough.

"Seth? Oh my Sethie, what happened to you?" The man asked, collapsing at Seth's bedside and caressing the younger man's face.

Dean's eyes went wide. He knew who the man was. Jason. Suddenly, he sprung to life.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN SETH'S ROOM!" Dean shouted, startling both Jason and Roman.

"Oh, it's you." Jason snarled. "I can stay in here if I want. I am his boyfriend."

"No you're not. He broke up with you weeks ago."

"Wait, this is the guy that abused Seth?" Roman asked, a sudden fire in his eyes.

"Yes." Dean mumbled, giving Jason a dirty look.

"You better get yourself out of here before I call the cops, or worse, whoop your ass." Roman growled. He wanted to hurt the man so badly.

"Fine, but you haven't seen the last of me. I have a right to be here." Jason stated as he left the room.

Roman called for the doctor and ordered him not to let Jason in Seth's room ever again. When Roman walked back into the room, he saw Dean resting his head on Seth's chest. He could see how bad Dean was hurting.

This whole situation was messing with his head and Roman knew right there and then, that if Seth died, Dean would die right along side him.


	16. Shall I deny my lungs their breathing rights? - Part 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it took so long to update! This chapter is 700 words longer than usual so it took me a while to write. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

A week had passed since the incident with Jason and the hospital had put a lot of effort into making sure Seth's room was safe. If anyone wanted to visit Seth, Roman would have to meet that person at the reception desk and say whether they were allowed in or not.

Hunter had made a rather large donation to the hospital, to make sure that Seth got all of the care he needed without Dean or Roman having to worry about the costs. It was the least he could do to thank them for all of their help.

Dean still hadn't left Seth's room, since he had been brought there. He didn't want to risk leaving the weak man's side. What if something happened when he was gone? What if Jason managed to get past security and go into Seth's room? Who would protect him?

It was a rock bottom experience for Dean. If anything happened to Seth, it would be his fault and he one hundred percent believed that, even if Roman said it wasn't true. Dean was to blame for this.

Seth had made a very small improvement over the past few days. The doctors did a check up and found that the burns on his stomach had started to heal, although they wouldn't be fully healed for at least a month.

Roman had lost count of all the paperwork he had read through and signed, but there was one particular document that never slipped his mind.

The day after Jason had made a surprise visit, the doctor gave Roman a medical contract which read: 'If Mr Seth Rollins has made no improvements and shows no sign of making any improvements in the future (by 08/12/2015, six weeks time) then _____________ has the right to tell the doctors to turn off the ventilator.'

It had been the hardest sentence he'd had to read in his entire life. He wrote Dean's name on the empty line. He figured that Dean was the closest to Seth, so it was only right if he had the say in when to turn the ventilator off and allow Seth to pass away.

Dean freaked out when Roman told him this. If Seth didn't improve in a few weeks, then his entire life was in Dean's hands. 

The crazy thing about this whole situation, was that even though Seth was a hated man in WWE, he still had a lot of people coming to visit him and give their respect and prayers. Hunter and Steph visited almost every night.

The Authority agreed with Roman's decision to give Dean the say in what to do with Seth. They didn't argue.

Roman went back to work for the first time since the incident. It was horrible having to be away from Seth and Dean for so long, but he was glad he got to speak to people at work and let them know about Seth's small improvement.

Hearing that Seth's burns had started to heal made Dean produce a small smile. It had been a long time since he had done that.

Dean was left alone with Seth once again, whilst Roman was at work. The doctor came into the room and checked Seth's vitals, making sure that he was taking the right amount of medicine.

"Well, Mr Rollins seems to be in the same condition as earlier on in the week. His burns are healing, but it doesn't look like much else is happening." Doctor Marakett stated, as he wrote a few things down on his clipboard.

"Okay." Dean muttered, wanting to be left alone.

"I was having a chat with some of my fellow co-workers this morning and we were hoping to test Seth's breathing and see if he's ready to come off of the ventilator. We'll probably wait a few days so that he can gain some extra strength, and then we'll test him."

"Okay." Dean said again. He wanted to be happy about what the doctor had just said, but he was too exhausted to feel any emotions.

"Just thought I'd let you know. I'll leave you to it." Marakett smiled, leaving the room.

Dean stayed where he was and stared down at Seth. What would it take to make him better again?

The afternoon passed and Roman arrived back at the hospital to check up on Dean and Seth.

"Do you want me to bring you anything from the hotel? Have you eaten?" Roman asked, making sure Dean was keeping healthy during such a painful time.

"I'm fine." Dean sighed. Roman was talking too much.

"I'm gonna grab you some dinner anyway. I know you too well, you stop eating when something bad happens."

Dean was too tired to argue. Instead he simply nodded his head, before resting it on the bed next to Seth's still frame.

Roman ordered pizza and Dean ate it gratefully. Roman spent another hour at the hospital, talking to the doctor and asking for any updates on Seth's condition before leaving and going back to the hotel.

Dean fell asleep with his head resting against Seth's side, their hands intertwined. It was uncomfortable sitting on a chair with your head leaning forwards, whilst trying to sleep, but Dean wanted to be as close to Seth as possible.

__________

Another week passed, with not many changes. Dean and Roman had the same routines every day.

The doctors had tried to take Seth off of the ventilator in order to check the strength of his lungs. It went well at first. Seth managed to last two minutes and twenty second, before he stopped breathing again.

This made Dean panic. The machine started to flatline, since Seth had stopped breathing, but the doctors assured Dean not to worry. They reattached the ventilator, and the machine started beeping at a steady pace.

At first Dean was very disappointed with the results. Seth was unable to breathe on his own and it had already been three weeks, which meant there was only three weeks left until Dean had to make 'the decision.'

The doctors however, told Dean that Seth's strength in his lungs had improved a lot since he had come in. Two minutes and twenty seconds, was a long time to breathe after Seth had technically died twice, when he was on his way to the hospital.

Everyone was over the moon with Seth's improvements, but it still wasn't enough for Dean. He needed Seth to be awake and breathing on his own, not in a coma having a machine do all the work for him.

Roman once again felt bad for leaving Dean on his own at the hospital, but he had to go to work. He needed the money.

"You need to lighten up a bit." Roman sighed, as he returned to the hospital and saw Dean sitting in the same place as always, with no expression on his face. "Seth's making improvements. You should be happy."

"How can I be happy, when I'm the one that did this to him?" Dean burst out, a single tear running down his face. It was the most he had spoke in three weeks.

"Look, we've been over this. It's not your fault. It was Seth's decision to do this, not yours. Besides, if you made him do this then you wouldn't be here right now, holding his hand and hoping for him to stay alive." Roman said sternly, he wanted Dean's guilt to end.

"But I said no, even though I wanted to say yes." Dean cried.

"I doubt it happened because of that. It was probably a lot of things that built up over the past two years. Stop worrying about it."

"I just want him to wake up." Dean whispered, holding Seth's hand tighter than ever before and crying into the bed sheets.

"I do too, man. But we've gotta wait til he's ready to wake up." Roman walked over to Dean and started rubbing his back, in hopes to sooth him.

"What if he doesn't want to wake up?" Dean said morbidly.

"He does. He's making improvements, that's a sign right?"

"I guess." Dean sniffed.

Roman worried deeply for Dean. Since Seth's 'accident' Dean had lost so much weight. The only time he ate anything was when Roman forced him to.

Dean was also getting sick. He hadn't left the hospital room for three weeks and was getting a lack of vitamin D from the sun, causing him to have headaches and become dizzy on a regular basis.

"I'm gonna go and grab some food from the cafe downstairs. Do you want sausage and mash or fish and chips?" Roman asked. Dean was eating whether he wanted to or not.

"Fish and chips please." Dean mumbled, not wanting to upset Roman.

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute.

The two men ate their dinner in silence. Dean thanked Roman for making him eat, it made him feel a lot better.

"Promise me you'll eat when I'm not here?" Roman asked.

"I promise." Dean smiled back.

Dean always kept his promises. The next morning when Roman was at the hotel room, Dean left Seth's room for the first time and went down to the cafe to order some breakfast. It felt amazing to be able to stand up and walk. His body needed a good stretch.

__________

At the start of the fourth week of Seth's hospital stay, Hunter and Stephanie made a 'Get well soon' video dedicated to Seth. They aired it at the start of RAW and let the audience know that Seth was very sick. They didn't tell them what happened as they thought it would be too personal.

The crowd instantly showed their respects by chanting 'Get well Seth.' Roman told Dean all about what happened and it melted his heart to know that so many people cared.

Jason tried getting into Seth's room a second time, but was stopped by Roman and the security guards, who handcuffed him and made him sleep in the cells overnight.

After RAW, Hunter and Stephanie came to visit.

"How's he doing?" Hunter asked, sounding slightly down. He still couldn't get used to seeing Seth like this.

"Same as the other day." Dean sighed.

"Well, I'm sure he'll make more improvements soon." Stephanie smiled, trying to bring the mood up a bit.

"Yeah." Dean mumbled. "I don't wanna be the one to make the decision." Tears started to fall down Dean's cheeks, as he suddenly thought about Seth dying.

"What do you mean?" Hunter asked, not understanding completely why Dean was suddenly so upset.

"I don't wanna decide whether he dies or not. I don't wanna kill him." Dean sobbed.

"Hey, shh." Stephanie walked over to Dean and gave him a gentle hug, trying to calm him down.

"Don't worry about it Dean." Hunter replied. "You won't have to make that decision, because Seth will be just fine."

Dean wanted to believe what Hunter had said, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Just two weeks to go.

Sink or swim?


	17. Do you feel my skin? - Part 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short, I apologize for that but I am only describing one event in this chapter. The first part is really sad and I cried whilst writing it, but I promise you that it's not all sad! Just read to the end and I know you will be happy about what happens haha! Thanks for reading and enjoy! :)

Things didn't improve much over the next three weeks and during the sixth week, Seth took a turn for the worse.

The doctors had tried to take him off of the ventilator another two times, but Seth would only be able to breathe on his own for less than a minute, before needing assistance. His internal burns however, were still healing well.

Dean had been attending numerous meetings with the doctors, to help decide what the best option was for Seth. He matched the criteria of the contract Roman had signed a few weeks prior. No signs of improvement.

What happened next to Seth was now up to Dean, and the idea of turning Seth's machine off tortured his soul.

On Wednesday 12th August 2015, Dean was forced to make a decision.

With his head in his hands and his tears falling freely, Dean made the decision to turn off the ventilator. It was one of the worst things he had ever said, but it had to be done.

Roman made a phone call to Hunter, telling him about what was about to happen and the Authority rushed over to the hospital to be by Seth's bedside in his final minutes of life.

Dean was sobbing and shaking as he held Seth's hand. The doctors were preparing for the horrible task of taking someone's life. The room was very tense and manic, but it would soon be peaceful.

Doctor Marakett walked over to the side of Seth's bed and placed a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Are you ready?" Marakett asked quietly.

Dean stalled for a moment before simply nodding. He then leaned down and placed a loving kiss on Seth's forehead.

"I'm so sorry." Dean whispered into Seth's ear. "I love you so much. I always have and I always will. Dead or alive."

Wanting to be as close to Seth as possible, Dean kept a hold of his hand and looked down at his face. It would be the last time he saw that beautiful face.

Doctor Marakett and two female nurses, turned off the ventilator and untaped the attaching tube from Seth's mouth. The tube attached to the heart monitor however, was kept in place.

The heart monitor beeped at a steady pace for a few seconds. Dean counted 32, before it became one loud beep. Seth was dead.

Dean burst out into a flood of tears once again and collapsed against his lover's bedside, holding his hand and giving it one last kiss. Everything was over for Dean, he couldn't take living without Seth.

Roman and the Authority were crying, quietly in the corner. Most of them were looking away from Seth's bed, not wanting to see his dead body. Roman was the only one paying attention to the loud, long beep of the heart monitor.

It mocked him, whilst he stood there watching the machine. The beep seemed like it would never end, until...

Beep

Beep

Beep

Dean and Roman both looked at the monitor in shock. Seth was breathing on his own.

The doctors were just as shocked as everyone else in the room. This had never happened before. Doctor Marakett was convinced that the heart monitor would flatline again, thinking that it was a technical glitch. But it didn't.

Seth's chest was gently rising and falling with every breath he took.

"Seth?" Dean whispered, his tears stopping for a moment before continuing in a form of happiness. "Seth, baby?"

"Mr Rollins is still in a coma I'm afraid, but it is clear to see that he is breathing perfectly on his own, without any help." Marakett smiled.

"H-he he's alive?" Hunter asked, in complete surprise. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, and neither could anybody else.

It was a miracle. The power of Dean's love. Seth must have heard him speak when he was in his coma. The simple 'I love you' from Dean, gave him a reason to stay alive.

Seth may have still been in a bad condition, but he was breathing on his own. He was alive and that's all that mattered to Dean.


	18. Phantom power and Ludicrous speed - Part 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some extra feels, listen to 'Keep your eyes open' by NEEDTOBREATHE. Thanks for reading and enjoy! Also, the next chapter will hopefully be a long one!

Seth's breathing had been constant and strong all week. The doctors did check ups twice everyday, to make sure his lungs were still strong enough to support themselves, and they were.

Since being off the ventilator, Seth had made a massive improvement in his condition. His internal burns were almost completely healed and his liver was stronger than ever. The doctors had done everything in their power to keep him alive.

Hunter had broke the news to the WWE Universe, that Seth was no longer in a critical condition. Infact, he had been removed from the intensive care unit and placed in the recovery ward. That one step on its own was a large improvement.

Dean, now more than before, made sure to stay in Seth's room 24/7. He wasn't doing this because he was upset, he was doing it because he wanted to be at Seth's side when he woke up. He wanted to tell him that he loved him.

Roman made sure to bring his friend three meals a day. Everything was going well, the only thing that had to happen to make everything perfect, was for Seth to wake up.

Dean had already spoken to numerous therapists and selected a few that he thought Seth might like. He wanted Seth to go to therapy sessions once he was out of hospital, to make sure that he could vent his feeling to someone if he didn't want to talk to Dean.

It was Thursday, which meant Roman had the day off work. He decided to spend the day at the hospital with Dean to keep him company.

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?" Roman asked.

"I don't know." Dean sighed. "I'm getting bored of waiting."

"Yeah, me too. I'm gonna go and get some lunch, I think the canteen's serving tacos today. Do you want one?"

"Yes please." Dean replied.

Dean looked down at Seth's face, taking in all of his perfect features. His face was blank, void of expression apart from his mouth which was slightly curved into a smile.

His nose was the same as it always was. It wasn't the smallest of noses, but Dean still thought it was the most adorable nose in the world. Seth's eyes were open.

Seth's eyes were open.

"Whoa, Roman wait!" Dean shouted, just as Roman was about to exit the room to grab their lunch.

"What?" Roman questioned, slightly concerned.

"Look at Seth's face." Dean gulped. Roman walked over, as quickly as he could, to Seth's bed and saw that his eyes were open.

"Oh my goodness." Roman gasped. "I'll go get the doctor."

Roman rushed out of the room, leaving Dean to panic with his own thoughts. Seth's eyes were open, but it didn't look like he was awake. His eyes weren't moving and Dean could tell that he wasn't acknowledging anything around the room.

The doctor rushed into the room, with Roman not far behind. Marakett ran over to Seth and shone a flashlight into his eyes.

"Well, both eyes are level so that's good. He should start responding soon. He'll probably blink in a few minutes once his brain realizes that his eyes need moisture." The doctor smiled.

"So, does that mean that he's awake?" Dean asked, shocked at how quickly everything had happened.

"At the moment, yes, but there is a chance that he could slip back into the coma. Usually, the patient will start to move their hands and make grunting noises once they're about to fully wake up."

"Okay, thank you." Dean smiled.

"No problem, just come and grab me if he gets any of those symptoms or if he closes his eyes again." Marakett left the room and Dean sighed in relief. Seth could be waking up.

"I'll go and get lunch." Roman laughed.

"Yeah." Dean replied, chuckling.

Dean looked back down at Seth's face and saw his eyes blink. That was a good sign. His brain was sending signals to his eyes, now they just had to wait for the signal to get to the rest of his body.

__________

An hour had passed since Seth had opened his eyes. Dean and Roman had eaten their lunch, just as Hunter and Stephanie arrived. Roman called them telling them the news and they got to the hospital as quickly as possible.

"Has anything else happened since you called me?" Hunter asked Roman.

"No not yet, but the doctor says it will take a few hours. He can see people though, you have to put your face over his." Roman smiled.

"Really?" Stephanie asked, gasping slightly. "Can I do it?"

"Yeah, go for it. Make sure you smile, Dean says he blinks when he's happy."

Stephanie walked over to Seth and placed her head above his, remembering to smile.

"Hi Seth." Steph grinned. Seth blinked. "He blinked!" 

Dean sat and watched, smiling at everyone's reaction. It was kind of creepy seeing Seth asleep with his eyes open, but Dean was over the moon by the improvement.

Another hour passed and Stephanie and Hunter had left the hospital. Dean was holding Seth's hand and gently stroking it with his thumb. Roman was reading the newspaper on the other side of the room. Other than the turning of a newspaper page every few minutes, the room was silent.

Dean stared at Seth's face, smiling and rubbing their noses together every so often. The doctor said the human contact would help stimulate the brain more.

Seth blinked again, keeping his eyes closed for fifteen seconds. When he re-opened his eyes, his mouth fell open.

"Hey Rome, Seth just opened his mouth." Dean said, not taking his eyes off the younger man's face.

Roman joined Dean and Seth at the bed and was happy to see that Seth's mouth was actually open. What made him even happier was the soft grunting noise that came from Seth's throat. Seth blinked again, but when he opened his eyes, they moved slightly from side to side.

"That's it baby, you can do it." Dean whispered, soothing Seth as he awoke.

Roman left the room only to return a few minutes later with the doctor. Seth had started moving his fingers by the time Roman had returned to the room.

Doctor Marakett didn't do anything, he just stood by Seth to make sure that nothing bad happened whilst he awoke.

Seth moved his head to the left to see Dean's smiling face, a single tear rolling down his face.

"Seth?" Dean whispered, trying not to startle the younger man.

"D-de" Seth whispered back, his voice too weak to compete the word.

"Oh Seth, I love you so much." Dean cried, getting onto the bed and holding onto Seth as tightly and as lovingly, as he could.

Seth's hand moved, weakly making it's way onto Dean's back. Roman watched the two men hug and struggled to hold his tears in. It was such a magical moment, for everyone.


	19. Say what you want me to say - Part 19

Seth had been awake for twelve minutes and thirty five seconds, Dean had made sure to count every second he had with Seth.

Dean was lying on his side, next to Seth on the hospital bed, with one of his hands on Seth's side and the other on his cheek, gently rubbing it with his thumb. He hadn't stopped smiling since Seth had opened his mouth. Seth was smiling too.

The gentle movements of Dean's thumb on Seth's face made him feel loved. He still couldn't talk, but he enjoyed every second of being awake. 

Doctor Marakett hadn't had time to introduce himself yet, or let Seth know why he was in the hospital. Dean had taken over as soon as the younger man awoke. He was a guardian angel, protecting his young.

A few hours later, Hunter and Stephanie arrived. They wanted to say a proper 'hello' to Seth. One that he could actually understand.

Stephanie's eyes started to well up with tears, when she saw Dean hugging Seth on the bed. It was such a sweet moment and it overwhelmed her slightly. Seth needed that kind of love in his life.

"Hey Seth." Stephanie greeted, calmly. Seth looked up at his motherly figure and smiled.

"He can't talk yet." Roman said, explaining the situation to Hunter. "He still needs to work up the strength in his vocal cords. The doctor thinks it might take a few days, maybe a week before he can talk in full sentences."

"Well, that's better than nothing. I'd rather he was mute for a week than dead." Hunter sighed, hating the thought that Seth could have died.

"Yeah, me too. I don't know how I would have coped with that." Roman replied.

"Let's just be glad that he's okay now. Do you know when he'll be discharged from hospital?"

"I don't know for sure, it depends on his development. He has to re-learn how to talk and walk, which could take weeks. The doctor said he'd be in hospital for at least another three weeks." Roman said, knowing that the next month was going to be tough for everyone.

"Well, I'm only a phone call away if you need any help. And me and Steph will be more than happy to pay the bills for the physiotherapy." Hunter smiled. "We'll do anything to help you three out."

"Thanks man, that means a lot."

"No problem. We were thinking of putting an update on Seth's condition on the official WWE Facebook page. Do you think Dean will be okay with that?" Hunter asked, excited to let everyone know the good news.

"Yeah, I'm sure he'd be fine with that. What are you gonna put on there?"

"Probably something along the lines of: He's awake and in good health, but he's still got a long way to go." Hunter shrugged.

"That's cool, I'm sure the fans will be glad to hear it. I keep getting tweets from fans asking if he's alright."

"Me too. At least we can finally answer them with the news they want to hear."

"Yeah." Roman smiled, looking over at Dean and Seth cuddling on the bed.

Stephanie was talking to Dean about Seth, asking similar questions to what Hunter was asking Roman. Seth was just taking everything in and learning how to process the new sounds of voices he was hearing.

It would be a long road before Seth was fully recovered, but he had everyone by his side and there was no way that he was giving up.

__________

Over the next two days, Seth rested and took in other people's conversations, trying to remember what each word meant. His first speech therapy lesson started today and he was a little nervous that he wouldn't be able to say anything.

Dean stayed by his side the whole time, supporting him through the new challenges.

"Okay Seth, we're going to start off with a few voice exercises. Are you okay with that?" Maryse, the speech therapist asked in a calming voice. Seth simply nodded in agreement.

"Alright, if you could repeat after me, from the throat." Maryse then went on to make a load of different strange noises, which Seth easily copied.

Seth was learning fast and after his first speech session, Maryse predicted that he'd be able to speak fully within the next few days. 

Dean was very happy with Seth's progress, which in return made Seth happy. They spent the rest of the day snuggled up in the hospital bed. The next speech session was early the next morning, so the two men decided to get an early night.

Dean watched as Seth slept peacefully beside him, thankful of the Lord for saving such a beautiful soul.

The next day arrived quickly and Seth was working hard on his speech. He had completed the warm up vocal exercises and was now preparing to talk for the first time.

Maryse asked Dean if there was any specific sentence that he wanted Seth to say. Dean wrote down his prefered sentence and smiled when he saw the look of joy on Maryse's face. The words 'I love Dean Ambrose' were scribbled down on the piece of paper.

"Okay Seth, let's start on the first word, it's an easy one. Repeat after me. I-y-y." Maryse made sure to exaggerate the letter, so that it was easier for Seth to pronounce.

Seth stumbled over his own voice slightly, creating a soft gurgling sound, before finally pushing himself to speak up.

"I." Seth mumbled quietly, the word sounding alien to him as he said it for the first time.

"That's brilliant! Do you want to say it again?" Maryse asked. Seth smiled and repeated the word with confidence. "We've got a fast learner here. Now, are you ready for the next word?"

Seth nodded his head violently with a smile on his face, getting excited to say the next word. This was such a strange experience for him, but he loved every second of it. He couldn't wait to show everyone what he had learnt.

"Okay, this word's a little bit longer so don't worry if you can't say it straight away." Maryse smiled. "Repeat after me, l-l-o-v-e."

"Love." Seth said, as soon as Maryse had finished speaking.

He remembered that word from somewhere. Dean. He had said it to him when he woke up from his coma. Seth pointed towards Dean with a smile on his face. "I love." He continued to point at Dean.

"Thanks man, I love you too." Dean laughed. "You guessed the rest of the sentence though. Can you say my name?"

Seth thought for a minute. What would be the best way to pronounce Dean's name. The first part was easy, but he couldn't quite figure out what the letter 'n' sounded like.

"Do you want some help?" Maryse asked, seeing the look of distress on Seth's face. Seth nodded. "Okay, this word will be easy to say once you hear it. D-e-a-n."

Seth's eyes lit up. That was an easy word to say, a lot easier than he thought.

"Dean." Seth smiled. "I love Dean."

"What about my last name, can you say that?" Dean smirked, knowing that his last name was too long for Seth to pronounce right now. Seth looked over to Maryse for help.

"We can try to say it if you want too." Maryse asked. Seth nodded, once again. "Alright, but this word is a lot longer so don't stress if you can't pronounce it just yet. You've already improved so much today, you should be proud of yourself."

Seth was proud of himself, but he wanted to feel even more proud. He wanted to prove that he could say longer words, and he wanted to impress Dean, who was now staring at him intently.

"Right, we'll start with the first part of the word and then go onto the second part. Does that sound good?" Seth nodded. "Okay then, repeat after me, A-m-b."

"Am." Seth stopped, trying to pronounce the 'b'. "Amm." He couldn't do it. Seth started to become frustrated. He hit his leg with his fist to show his anger.

"Hey, don't hit yourself." Dean grabbed Seth's arm. "Don't get angry over a stupid word."

Seth looked into Dean's eyes, memories from the previous years came flooding back through his mind. He couldn't control the emotions he was feeling.

"Ambrose." Seth said quietly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Maryse's eyes widened. She couldn't believe Seth had learnt how to regain his speech so quickly. Dean simply smiled, overjoyed with Seth's progress.

"That's right. You did it baby." Dean said, squeezing Seth's hand in a loving way. "Can you say the whole sentence together?"

"I love Dean Ambrose." Seth didn't stutter or pause once. He meant every word.

"And I love Seth Rollins." Dean replied, giving Seth a kiss on the forehead. "Well done, babe. I'm so proud of you."

"Well, now that you can say long words, we should probably teach you to say more shorter and easier words." Maryse smiled. "Can you say, yes and no?"

"Yes and no." Seth laughed, repeating exactly what Maryse had said.

"Awesome! What about thank you?" 

"Thank you." Seth said in a sing song voice. "And awesome!"

"Wow you're learning very quickly. Keep repeating what everyone says and you'll be talking in no time." Maryse smiled, standing up out of her chair and walking towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Seth."

"See you." Seth repeated, grinning because he knew he had done well.

Over the next hour, Seth copied everything Dean said. It got a little annoying, but Dean secretly thought it was cute.

Roman, Hunter and Stephanie got to the hospital later that night and were excited to see Seth's progress.

"Guess what the first thing Seth said was?" Dean smirked, looking over at the new visitors.

"What?" Roman asked, curious to hear. He looked over to Seth.

"I love Dean Ambrose." Seth said, easily. He had said it many times that day.

"Of course you'd make him say that first." Roman said, rolling his eyes and smiling at Dean.

It was easy to sleep that night. Dean was no longer worried about Seth, until he realized that Seth hadn't walked for over a month. He would need serious help with that.


	20. Go and get pushed too far - Part 20

The next morning went by quickly. Seth worked on his speech and knew how to pronounce almost every word, however he couldn't quite understand how to put words together. He would mispronounce most sentences and use the wrong tenses.

Maryse, the speech therapist, said that this was a common thing to happen. The large majority of people that had been in a coma for such a long amount of time, usually struggled to create sentences with the words they learnt.

There was a chance Seth would improve, but the largest outcome in this situation, involved people speaking like that for the rest of their lives.

Dean didn't mind though, he thought it was cute that Seth spoke childishly, in a way. Seth however, did not enjoy it. He got very frustrated when he mispronounced a sentence or got stuck on a word, when speaking.

His speech wasn't anything to worry about at the moment though. The most important thing, was the strength in Seth's legs. His physiotherapy started today and Seth was slightly nervous. He didn't want to be stuck in a wheelchair all his life.

Dean dressed Seth in some gym shorts and a t-shirt, to make him more comfortable. Seth's legs felt weird when Dean lifted them to dress him. They were slightly numb and they felt stiff.

Anton, the physiotherapist introduced himself and talked Seth through what was going to happen. The first lesson involved exercising the leg muscles, but there would be no walking included yet as the legs wouldn't be ready to support his weight. 

"Alright, so Dean if you could stand on Seth's right side and I'll stand on the left. We'll start by placing one hand underneath his thigh and the other hand underneath his calf." Anton said, letting Dean know how he could help support Seth.

"What I do now?" Seth asked, feeling awkward with the therapist touching his thigh and getting annoyed about his lack of sentence knowledge.

"Just relax your body and try to bend your left knee." Anton replied.

"Okay." Seth sighed, taking a deep breath and relaxing his body.

He really didn't want to do this. He was scared that the outcome would disappoint him. However, when he looked at Dean's face he instantly felt a wave of comfort.

Seth closed his eyes and put all of his strength into bending his knee. At first nothing happened, but after a few minutes of trying, his knee moved the smallest amount. If someone had blinked, they would have missed it.

"That was a good start Seth." Anton smiled. "You definitely need a lot more practice, but you're doing good so far. Do you think you can bend your right knee for me?"

Seth already felt exhausted, but he followed the orders and tried his best to bend his knee. Dean could feel Seth tensing his muscles, but his knee didn't move. His body wasn't ready yet.

"I can't do it." Seth sighed, feeling bad about himself.

"No worries, you did good. I suggest you take a nap to relax your body, and I'll be back tonight to finish off the session. We'll be doing the same thing that we just did. Doing these exercises twice a day will help strengthen your muscles." Anton smiled.

"Okay." Seth replied, wanting to sleep. "Thanks."

"No problem, see you in a few hours." Anton left the room.

Dean was smiling when Seth looked over at his face. His hands were still under Seth's leg, which was a bit awkward but Seth didn't mind.

"I'm so proud of you." Dean said. "You'll be walking in no time."

"I hope so." Seth sighed, feeling defeated. He wasn't looking forward to the next session. He didn't want to be disappointed again.

"You should get some sleep. You look tired." Dean whispered, moving his hands to place them on Seth's hips.

"Yeah, I am." Seth replied, his eyes drooping shut.

"Sleep tight. I love you."

"I love you too." Seth replied, before falling into a deep sleep. Who knew bending your knee could be so tiring?

Seth awoke and ate some lunch, before starting his second session of physiotherapy. It was similar to the first session. Seth could move his left leg slightly, but still couldn't move his right leg.

Anton suggested doing extra exercises on Seth's right leg, since it seemed to be the weaker leg of the two.

Seth was once again exhausted and had no problem falling asleep after therapy. When Hunter, Stephanie and Roman came to visit, Seth was out for the count. Dean told them everything that had happened in the therapy session and everyone was happy with the results.

__________

The next day arrived and Seth had another session with Anton. There was a big improvement in his movement. Seth was able to completely bend his left knee, with the support of Anton's hands, but he still could bend his right knee.

Anton suggested that Dean gently moved Seth's leg and bend his knee for him, in hopes that it would wake up the muscles more.

Dean did just that. Seth's leg once again felt like jelly, but he also felt a great amount of relief seeing his leg move. He tried to bend his right knee once again and this time he was able to move it slightly.

Anton said that the right side of his body was just a bit more delayed than the left side. It was a common thing to happen after not moving for so long.

After having lunch, Seth took a nap only to be woken up an hour later by Dean, who told him that he had company. Seth sat up against the headboard and saw a lovely looking, brown haired lady.

"Hello Seth, my name's Alex. It's nice to meet you." Alex smiled, shaking Seth's hand.

"You too." Seth replied, still feeling half asleep.

"I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I'm going to be your therapist for the next six weeks. Our sessions together will be a great chance to get things off of your chest and talk about any problems you might be having." Alex smiled.

"Oh, okay." Seth said simply, not knowing how to react.

"I know it's hard to talk about things that are bothering you, but it will help you in the long run. I'll let you get back to sleep now. Our first session is tomorrow afternoon." 

"Okay, thanks." Seth smiled, he was too tired to care at the moment.

"See you tomorrow." Alex waved, leaving the room.

Seth looked over to Dean, with a disgusted look on his face, before rolling his eyes and going back to sleep. He didn't need a therapist. There was nothing wrong with him.


	21. Wash out the wasted time - Part 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter isn't the best, but I'm sick at the moment so that's my excuse XD. Just to let you know, from chapters 1 to 20 the titles were all lyrics from the song 'Phantom Power And Ludicrous Speed' by Pierce the Veil. Now I've changed it to the song 'Today I Saw The Whole World' from the same band. Thanks for reading and enjoy! :)

Seth was currently in his next physiotherapy session, with Dean and Anton. He had already done his warm ups and was now talking to Anton, about the different things they could do next.

Anton suggested that Seth tried to stand up for as long as his body lets him, along with his and Dean's support. Seth loved that idea. He wanted to fix his legs as soon as possible. He was tired of lying down all the time.

"How I do it?" Seth asked, still not understanding how to make full sentences.

"Dean, could you grab his legs and swirl him around so that he's sitting on the edge of the bed please? And Seth, just try and keep your back straight." Anton said, putting a supporting hand on Seth's shoulder.

Dean did as he was told, and soon Seth was sitting up. Anton, talked Seth through what was going to happen, making sure he understood.

"Dean, if you hold his waist it'll help support him." Anton said, as a tip. "Okay Seth, whenever you're ready.

Seth took a deep breath and placed his feet on the floor. He then pushed himself up off of the bed in order to stand. He would have fell flat on his face, if it wasn't for Dean's hands supporting him.

Dean kept Seth's body steady. Seth was standing up, shaking slightly but for the most part balancing really well. Anton gestured for Dean to take one hand off of Seth's waist, to see if he could support himself.

Dean removed his hand and watched as Seth continued to stand. The smile on Seth's face, when he realized he was standing on his own, made Dean's heart melt.

"I doned it." Seth laughed, his speech incorrect but Dean didn't want to mention it at such a happy time.

"That's right baby, you did it." Dean smiled back.

"Seth, would you like to try and take your first steps?" Anton asked, knowing that mentally and physically, Seth was ready.

"Yes please." Seth replied, excitedly.

"Okay, I'll get Dean to support you again and we'll see how it goes." Anton said, standing up and moving three steps away from Seth. "I want you to walk over to me, turn around and then walk back to the bed, okay?"

"Yeah." Seth smiled. Dean put his hands on his waist and helped guide him over to Anton.

Seth managed to walk to Anton and back, with support, and he felt great.

"I try on own now?" Seth asked, not wanting Dean supporting him. He wanted to do this independently.

"If you think you're ready." Anton replied. "Then go ahead."

Dean removed his hands from Seth's waist and allowed him to walk on his own. Seth made the same route without any support. Anton was over the moon, with his progress and decided that Seth would be able to leave the hospital earlier than originally planned.

"I think you'll be out of here by next week, with the speed of recovery you're going at." Anton smiled. "I talked to doctor Marakett this morning and he said that Maryse will only be giving you one more session. Alex wants to see you today and tomorrow and I'll see you tomorrow as well, but apart from that you're ready to go."

"That's awesome." Seth grinned. "I can't wait to leave."

"It must have been hell for you, being stuck in here for so long." Anton laughed. "I'll give you my personal discharge to leave after our session tomorrow and I'm sure the other doctors will too over the weekend."

"Okay, thank you." Seth replied, grateful for what the doctors and nurses had done for him.

"I believe that doctor Marakett will be having a meeting with you tomorrow evening to talk through your medication. I'll see you tomorrow, have a nice day Seth. And you too Dean."

"Bye." Seth waved, sitting back down onto the bed. "Therapy with Alex, then sleep." Seth groaned.

"I know you don't want to do therapy, but it'll help. I promise." Dean sighed, not wanting to upset Seth. "I love you."

"Love you too." Seth replied, feeling tired.

__________

It was time for Seth's first therapy session. Dean had left the room to give Seth and Alex some privacy. Alex wanted to make sure Seth felt comfortable talking about everything.

"So Seth, tell me a bit about yourself. What did you do before now?" Alex asked, clipboard in hand.

"Um, I wrestled." Seth started, finding hard to use certain words. "And that's it."

"Really? Did you enjoy wrestling?"

"Yeah." Seth smiled, remember all the great matches he'd had.

"Well, that gives you something to work for. Once you're out of here you can go back to wrestling." Alex smiled. "Now, we're going to get straight into the heavy questions, okay?" Seth nodded. "What made you want to commit suicide?"

"Um." Seth didn't know how to answer. "Bad boyfriend."

"Was that Dean or someone else?" 

"Someone else." Seth repeated, from Alex's vocabulary.

"Why was this boyfriend bad?" Alex asked.

"He hurt me a lot." Seth sighed. "I don't like him."

"Well, that's a good thing you don't like him. I'd be a bit worried if you did." Alex replied. "How did you and Dean get so close?"

"He broked up me and my boyfriend." Seth said, messing up his words.

"Really? Did you two start dating after that?"

"No. I asked, but Dean said no. I got sad." Seth replied, wiping a tear from his eye. He hated that moment in his life.

"Is that why you did it?" Alex asked, referring to the suicide.

"Yeah, I thought he didn't want me." Seth cried. "Can he come in? I want hug."

"Yes he can, I'll go get him for you. I think our session is over for today. You did really well, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow." Alex smiled, standing up to open the door.

"Thanks." Seth said. "See you." 

"Bye Seth." Alex waved, gesturing for Dean to go into the room.

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" Dean asked, walking straight over to Seth and giving him a hug.

"I love you." Seth cried.

"I love you too." Dean replied.


	22. Followed your voice into a sea of crosses - Part 22

The next day began with a therapy session. Alex brought a box of tissues with her for this session, since it was clear that Seth found everything hard to talk about. 

"So can you tell me a bit more about your ex-boyfriend? How did he hurt you? And how did it make you feel?" Alex asked. Seth was nervous to answer, but was comforted by the fact that Dean was standing outside the room.

"Well, he hit me a lot and beat me up." Seth cleared his throat. "He said mean things too." It was only then, that Seth realised he had pronounce two perfectly good sentences for the first time. He couldn't wait to finish this session so he could tell Dean about his improvement.

"What type of things did he say to you?" Alex asked, smiling sympathetically.

"He told me that I was worthless and that I needed him because he was making me better." Seth sighed. "Everyone hates me."

Alex was shocked at the sudden change in Seth's attitude. It was as if he had travelled back in time to when he was with Jason. His brain was reminding him about all the bad things Jason had said and reminded him about how true they were.

"I'm sure that's not true. Dean likes you doesn't he? And there were a lot of people visiting you when you were in your coma. Don't believe the things he said to you, okay?" Alex said sternly, but kindly. She wanted Seth to understand that what Jason said was wrong. Seth simply nodded in response.

"How did you feel when you were with him?" Alex asked.

"I felt trapped. No one noticed until a year after it started happening and I felt like no one cared." Seth replied, reliving that terrible time in his mind. "And I was scared whenever he was near me."

"That's understandable." Alex said, noticing that Seth was about to cry. "Tissue?"

"Thanks." Seth replied, taking a tissue and drying his eyes.

"So Seth, when you came into the hospital you had a lot of fresh and old scars on your arms, and I believe that you've been to the hospital because of self-harm before?" Alex asked, moving onto more deeper topics.

"Yeah." Seth mumbled, slightly embarrassed to talk about his 'problem.'

"Did you start doing that because of your ex-boyfriend?" Seth nodded a reply. "Okay, well during our sessions over the next four weeks, we'll go into more detail about the self-harm and I'll help you find ways of stopping." Alex smiled.

"Thank you." Seth said, not knowing if he should be thankful or not. A part of him didn't want to stop.

"Well, that's our session done for today. I'll see you next week at the therapy centre. I'll email you the address."

"Okay thanks, see you next week." Seth waved, as Alex left.

Dan returned to the room after saying goodbye to Alex in the corridor. He saw that Seth's eyes were red and guessed that he had been crying. He walked over to Seth and gave him a hug. 

"I love you, baby." Dean whispered into Seth's ear.

"I love you too." Seth replied, snuggling into Dean's chest.

Seth was exhausted, but he still had two more appointments to get through and a meeting with Doctor Marakett. He hoped that there would be time for him to take a nap between the appointments.

Anton, the physiotherapist, arrived at Seth's room thirty minutes after his therapy session. This was the most challenging and tiring appointment for Seth, so he wanted to get it over and done with.

"Okay Seth, so we know you have the strength to stand and walk a short distance without support, but today I want to see if you can walk long distance with support. If you can then we'll try again without the support." Anton smiled.

"That sounds cool. Seth replied, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Seth stood himself up off of the bed and waited for further instructions.

"Right, if you could do a lap of the room and then I want you to leave the room and walk up and down the corridor twice. Dean will keep a steady hand on your waist at all times." 

"Okay, I can do that." Seth said, beginning to walk once Dean placed his hand at the bottom of his back. Anton watched carefully at Seth's every move.

Seth managed to walk around the room easily with Dean's support. He was a little nervous to go out into the hallway, since he didn't want people watching him, but he got over his fear and walked up and down the corridor without a problem.

"That was excellent, Seth." Anton smiled. "Do you think you can do it again, without Dean's support?"

"Yeah." Seth agreed, knowing it would be easy.

Seth made the same route as before, without any problems. When he sat back down on his bed, Anton was clapping and Dean was laughing at how crazy Anton was.

"That's fantastic, Seth. I've never seen anyone recover as fast as you. You should be proud of yourself." Anton grinned. "I'll go sign my part of the discharge papers now. Alex has already signed her part. It's just up to Maryse and Doctor Marakett now."

"So does that mean I can leave soon?" Seth asked, feeling an overwhelming amount of relief.

"If Maryse and Doctor Marakett sign the papers today, then you can probably leave by tomorrow afternoon ." Anton replied.

"That's awesome. Thanks for your help." Seth smiled.

"No problem." Anton replied. "See you."

"Bye." Seth waved, feeling happy because he now had three hours before his next appointment. That meant he could eat some lunch and then take a nap.

\----------

Seth awoke from his nap, to see Maryse sitting beside him. She gave him a smile and greeted him. Dean was sat in the corner of the room, asleep in one of the chairs.

"So, I just want to see how much your speech has improved since I last saw you and, then I can decided whether or not you need anymore speech sessions." Maryse said, sweetly. She was always Seth's favourite therapist.

"Okay." Seth replied.

"Cool, how about you just tell me what you've done today. Speak how you normally would." Maryse smiled, grabbing a clipboard and a pen out of her bag.

"Alright, well first I had therapy which was a bit of a drag because I hate talking about my past." Seth started. Maryse smiled, her eyes wide with shock and happiness of Seth's improvement. "And then I had physiotherapy straight afterwards. I had to walk a lot, so I was really tired afterwards."

"Mhm, did you do anything else?" Maryse asked, wanting to encourage his speech more.

"Not really, I had some lunch and then I took a nap and that's it." Seth laughed.

"What did you have for lunch?"

"Ham and pineapple pizza." Seth replied.

"Well Seth, I think it's safe to say that your speech is perfect. You definitely won't be needing anymore sessions." Maryse said, happily.

"Really?" Seth asked in shock. He was one step closer to going home.

"Yes really." Maryse laughed. "I'll sign your discharge forms now. And can I just say, it's been a pleasure meeting you and getting to know you during our sessions. I wish you the best of luck in your future." 

"Awe, that's so kind of you. Thanks. It was a pleasure to meet you too." Seth replied, feeling a bit emotional. He would be leaving everyone soon.

"I'll see you around, I guess." Maryse waved, opening the door and walking out.

"Bye." Seth said back, he was going to miss her more than anyone at the hospital.

Dean finally woke up after Maryse had left. He was rather disoriented about where he was, when he first woke up.

"When's your appointment with Maryse?" Dean asked groggily, stretching his muscles.

"I've already had it." Seth laughed.

"Really!" Dean asked, confused.

"Yeah, you slept through it lazy."

"Oh, sorry babe. What did she say?"

"That's okay, and she said that my speech was fine and that she's gonna discharge me. Doctor Marakett will be here in a few minutes to talk about a few things." Seth said, smiling.

"Someone looks happy." Dean chuckled, looking at Seth's glowing face.

"I get to go home soon. I can't wait to get out of here." Seth grinned.

"Awe, you sweetie. Are you gonna travel with me and Roman once you're out?" Dean asked, looking forward to spending time with Seth in the outside world.

"Yeah, I can share the hotel bed with you and Roman can have his own bed."

"That's fine by me." Dean smirked. "Are we going to go back to your old house to get some of your stuff?"

"Nah, I'll just buy some new clothes and stuff. I don't wanna go back there." Seth replied.

"Alright, well at least that's sorted."

Doctor Marakett arrived in Seth's room an hour later. He had his friendly face in, as always.

"Hello Seth, Dean." Marakett greeted. "How are you both?"

"I'm good." Dean replied.

"Yeah, me too." Seth said, waiting for Marakett to say the words 'you can go home.'

"Well, that's good. Im just here to do an overall check up on you Seth to see if you're ready to leave." The doctor said, smiling.

"Yay!" Seth grinned.

"Alright then, let's get started." Marakett laughed at Seth's excitement.

Marakett finished asking his questions and told Seth that he was allowed to go home the next day. Seth was over the moon. He was so excited that he couldn't sleep, later on that night.

Everything was looking up for Seth and he couldn't wait to start his life again.


	23. Heaven has a plot to take my life - Part 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely picture for this chapter was made by my good friend Black_Shield. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Picture:

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/14542709_664828350332458_1088714680_n.jpg?oh=3909819388615a65f7589e8bd79ecbc5&oe=57F13D62

Seth was sat outside of the hospital, on a bench with Dean. They were waiting for Roman to arrive so that he could drive them back to the hotel. Seth had checked out of the hospital only twenty minutes before.

Roman arrived shortly after and drove the two men to the hotel, making a quick stop at Walmart to get Seth a new toothbrush. 

When they got to the hotel, Seth was shocked to see a banner hung up in the main reception saying 'Welcome Back Seth!' Dean looked at Seth and smirked, grabbing his hand and leading him to the party room.

The room was full of WWE Superstars including, The Authority, a few other male wrestlers and a few female wrestlers. There were tables full of food, and even a karaoke stage. Seth was making Dean get on that. After an eventful party and a double whammy of Dean singing 'Sweet Caroline,' everyone began to leave.

Dean took Seth up to his hotel room. They parted with Roman once they got to their floor, leaving the two of them alone.

"So, what do you wanna do now?" Dean asked, opening the door to their room and guiding Seth in.

"I don't know, I'm too full of food to do anything right now." Seth replied, groaning slightly from how full he was.

"Fair enough. How about we watch a movie and chill out on the bed?" Dean suggested.

"Sounds good." Seth agreed, smiling.

Dean stuck a film on and joined Seth on the bed, making sure to cuddle him extra tightly. He never wanted to let go. Seth responded by placing his head on Dean's chest.

"I love you, baby." Dean whispered into Seth's hair.

"I love you too." Seth replied, pulling Dean closer and wrapping one of his legs around Dean's body.

"Hey, we never really made this official so Seth Rollins, will you be my boyfriend?" Dean asked, cupping Seth's face in his hands.

"Yes, I will." Seth replied, leaning up to kiss Dean on the lips.

"God, I love you so much." Dean said, squeezing Seth's ass.

"You said that already." Seth laughed. "And why are you touching my ass?"

"Well, your ass is the best ass in the world." Dean groaned. "And I love you so much, I'm never gonna stop saying that."

"Awe, you're too sweet. I love you too." Seth smiled, allowing Dean to touch up his ass for the rest of the night.

__________

The next day Seth asked Dean if they could go to his old house. He didn't want to go, in case Jason was there, but also because the though of being in that house again gave him nightmares.

Dean agreed and promised to keep Seth safe if Jason showed up. He then reassured him that Jason was probably passed out drunk.

Seth only wanted to go there to get a few important things, like: photo albums, his wrestling collectibles and one of his favorite jumpers. Sentimental things that he couldn't replace. He remembers having a framed picture of him and Dean, that he hid in his sock draw.

Dean went into the bathroom, claiming that he needed to use the toilet before he left. Instead of doing what he said, he grabbed his phone and sent a text to Roman.

'Me and Seth are going to his old house to get a few things. Do you think you could drive over there in ten minutes to keep a look out for Jason, whilst we're in there?'

Dean was confident that he could beat Jason in a fight, he had already done it once, but he had a bad feeling about this visit and he didn't want Seth to be in any danger. He'd only just got out of the hospital. Roman replied almost immediately.

'No problem, man. I'll be your spy ;)'

Dean smirked at the text before exiting the bathroom, no one was getting hurt today. Seth was waiting, not so patiently, by the door.

"What took you so long, man? Were you taking a dump?" Seth asked, wanting to get the next task over and done with.

"Nah, I was just taking my sweet ass time." Dean smiled, grabbing Seth's hand and walking out into the hotel corridor.

"I hope you washed your hands." Seth said, disgustedly.

"Of course I did, how could I not?" Dean put his hand to his chest in mock shock, annoying Seth slightly. Today was not the day for jokes.

The couple made their way to Seth's old house. Seth's stomach collected more butterflies, the further they walked. He thought about all the possible scenarios that could happen during their time there, and he didn't want any of them to happen.

They reached the house and easily opened the unlocked door. Dean could see Roman's car hiding at the end of the street, which comforted him a lot. 

The house was empty and there was no sign of Jason. The relief flew off of Seth's shoulders, when he realized nothing bad would happen.

Seth instantly ran upstairs to his old bedroom and rummaged through the sock draw to find the picture of him and Dean. A smile appeared on his face as soon as he saw it. Him and Dean were hugging after one of their matches and Roman decided to take a picture of them.

Seth then grabbed his jacket and his photo albums, before making his way back downstairs to find Dean sitting on the sofa.

"I wouldn't sit on there if I were you." Seth said, a grimace on his face.

"Why not?" Dean asked, looking around at Seth.

"A lot of... gross things have happened on that sofa." Seth replied, not looking over at the piece of furniture. It brought back too many bad memories. 

"What gross things can happen on a sofa? Did you guys fuck on here or something?" Dean asked, laughing slightly.

"Yeah, something like that." Seth mumbled. "We should get going soon."

"Is it alright if I look around a bit? There might be something I want to take." Dean smirked. 

"Alright, but don't take too long." Seth sighed, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

"I won't I promise." Dean said, before leaving the room and going upstairs.

Seth decided to go into the kitchen and look through the cupboards, just for something to do. When he got to the kitchen, he heard the front door open and close quietly. He looked through the kitchen door to see that there was no one in the main entrance.

"Dean, is that you?" Seth asked, but got no reply.

He went back to looking through the cupboards, but was rudely interrupted by a hand wrapping around his neck. He tried to call for help, but the person's other hand covered his mouth.

"Hello Sunshine." Jason growled. "I've missed you."


	24. Sick entertainment but I'll bet it feels good - Part 24

Seth tried to move out of Jason's grip, but it didn't work. Jason only held him tighter, hand squeezing Seth's throat, chocking him. The larger man started to laugh quietly at his victim's struggle.

Seth could feel his body become numb. He was on the verge of passing out, his vision going blurry, but then Jason let go. Or was forced to let go by someone ripping his arm away, aggressively. 

"I think Dean told you to stay away." Roman growled, as he held onto the attacker. He had watched Jason enter the house from his car, and knew it was bad news.

Jason started to grin, thinking that Roman was playing a sick joke on him. Seth deserved to be punished. Everyone should know that by now, so why was the Samoan stopping him?

"He's in my house. I can do whatever I want to him." Jason laughed manically, looking at Seth who was still doubled over gasping for air.

"Dean!" Roman shouted, alerting the other man in the house. He needed Dean's input on what to do with the toxic attacker.

"What's up?" Dean shouted back, rushing down the stairs.

"Look who decided to show up." Roman replied, Jason still held tightly in his grip.

Dean then made it to the kitchen to see what was going on. As soon as he saw Jason, his mind went blank and his vision went red. He marched over to the man and delivered a brutal punch to his face.

"What do you think you're doing here in the same room as Seth? I told you to stay away!" Dean shouted, looking like a lunatic, eyes wide, spitting everywhere. "Did you touch him?"

"I don't know what you're talki-"

"DID YOU TOUCH HIM?" Dean screamed, fed up of Jason's lies. Seth physically flinched at the loud noise.

"I guess you could say that." Jason smirked, not having any sympathy what so ever. 

"Roman, did you see what happened?" Dean asked, calming down slightly after seeing how terrified Seth was.

"He had him by the throat. Seth was almost out by the time I got here." Roman grunted back, a look of anger on his face. Dean turned to Seth in an attempt to calm himself down.

"Seth, are you okay?" Dean asked gently. 

"Yeah, I-I'm fine." Seth replied, gulping in fear. 

"Okay good, do you wanna leave the house? Roman's car is down the road. I'll grab your stuff later." Dean asked sternly. It was more like an order. He just wanted to make sure Seth was in a safe place, away from the violence, whilst he and Roman took care of Jason.

Seth simply nodded, looking slightly concerned at what Dean was suggesting. He hated Jason with a passion, but he once loved him and didn't want him to get badly hurt. He also didn't want Dean getting in trouble.

"Just don't kill him." Seth whispered, as he left the room.

On the way to Roman's car, Seth began to cry. Everything was too overwhelming for him right now. All he wanted to do was get into bed and cuddle up next to Dean.

Roman still had a hold of Jason. The man was wriggling around trying to get free, but Roman wasn't letting him go. Dean was pacing around the room wondering what to do. Jason wasn't going to get away with hurting Seth again.

"Maybe we should just call the cops?" Roman suggested, shrugging.

"Nah, there's not enough evidence to get him arrested. We'll just rough him up a bit and teach him a lesson." Dean said, dangerously. 

"That obviously didn't work last time, what makes you think it'll work this time?" Roman asked, bored of Jason's constant movement. "Could you punch him though? He's annoying me."

Dean did as Roman said and gave Jason another stiff punch to the face. The attacker stopped moving for a minute, but then began to pick up the pace again.

"I think we should tie him up." Dean suggested, smiling at the thought. 

"He might starve to death if we do that." Roman sighed.

"He'll find his way out eventually. He looks and smells drunk right now, so once he's sobered up he'll easily be able to get free." Dean replied, grimacing at the smell of Jason's breath.

"That's boring though. Let's just give him a few punches and lock him in the house. We'll take his keys so he'll have to find another way out." Roman laughed, feeling like him and Dean were doing something really stupid, but loving it at the same time.

"Alright, I can deal with that." Dean grinned, delivering another punch to Jason's face.

Once the men had finished their business, they grabbed Seth's stuff and locked all the doors to the house, taking Jason's keys with them. There were probably another set of keys in the house somewhere but the men didn't really care. They just wanted to mess with Jason a little bit.

Seth was in the back of the car, curled up asleep across the seats. Roman drove them all back to the hotel and made sure that everybody was okay before heading back to his separate hotel room.

__________

The next day, Seth awoke to an empty bed. The shower was running in the bathroom so Seth guessed that Dean was in the shower.

Seth was unsure of what had happened the previous day. He had fallen asleep in the car and hadn't woken up until a few minutes ago. Dean must have carried him to bed. The gentle flow of water stopped and Dean soon appeared in the hotel room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Morning beautiful." Dean smirked, getting onto the bed and giving Seth a hug. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I slept great thanks." Seth replied, enjoying the warmth of Dean's body. 

"What do you wanna do today? I don't start work until next week, so we can spend some time together." Dean said, getting up out of bed and dressing himself.

"I don't know, I just want to cuddle you." Seth said, missing the feeling of Dean's body against his already.

"Well, how about we order breakfast and stick a film on?" Dean suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Seth replied.

"Awesome." Dean ordered room service and the two men waited for their breakfast to arrive.

"Dean?" 

"Yeah?"

"What did you do to Jason yesterday?" Seth asked, wrapped up in the arms of his loved one.

"Nothing crazy. Just a few punches, he'll be fine by now." Dean replied. It was the truth.

"Okay, just promise me you'll never do anything too crazy to him. I don't want you going to jail." Seth said, pouting and pressing his head more into Dean's chest.

"I promise, baby." Dean gave Seth a kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too."

The two men ate their breakfast and watched a few films, before heading into town to get some lunch. Evening arrived and the two men were back at the hotel. 

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked randomly, realizing that Seth had only come out of hospital two days before.

"I'm good." Seth replied, simply. "I feel better now that I'm out of hospital."

"I know, baby. I'm glad you're not there too. Just remember that you've got therapy sessions for the next four weeks."

"Yeah, I know." Seth sighed. "My next one is tomorrow."

"It'll be fine, don't worry about it." Dean smiled. "I'm bored, do you wanna watch another movie?"

"Okay." Seth agreed, accepting the opportunity for more cuddles.

The rest of the night was calm. The two men finished watching the movie and fell asleep straight after.


	25. Wash out the wasted time - Part 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone gave me the idea for the end of this chapter (with what happens to Seth and someone else), but I can't remember who it was. If the person sees this can you write who you are in the comments please? I will give you credit at the start of the next chapter :) Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoy!

The next day approached quickly and Seth was full of nerves. He had his next therapy session with Alex and he was not looking forward to it. Talking about his past was something Seth really didn't want to do, especially with someone he hardly knew.

Jason had been on his mind all morning. The fact that he found it so easy to attack Seth, made him very paranoid. Seth couldn't stand up for himself and if he was ever left alone with Jason, he knew that he would be killed within the first five minutes.

Dean had picked up on Seth's change in attitude and tried to ask what was wrong, but the younger man ignored him each time he repeated the question. It was weird to see Seth so quiet. Back in the Shield days he was always the loudest out of the three men. Dean didn't like watching Seth keep his emotions to himself.

Seth was getting ready to leave, when Dean stopped him. He needed to check that everything was okay, before Seth left.

"Are you okay, Seth? You've been really quiet this morning." Dean said, sighing. Hoping his partner would answer.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." Seth replied quickly, trying to leave as fast as he could. Dean probably didn't want him to be here. Where did that come from?

"I know that something's wrong, so don't tell me not to worry." Dean said, slightly angry that Seth was hiding his thoughts.

"Nothing's wrong Dean, I'm just a bit shock up after what happened with Jason okay?" Seth rushed out, frustratedly. 

"You know that he's not going to bother you again, right?" Dean questioned, not wanting Seth to be paranoid of that low life scum.

"He's a grown man, he can do whatever he wants. He's not gonna stay away because you told him to. Your not as intimidating as you think." Seth shouted, finally snapping. "I'm gonna be late." The younger man mumbled, rushing out the door.

Dean was furious at Seth's behaviour. There was no reason for him to shout and get angry at Dean, he was only trying to help.

On the way to the therapy center, Seth felt more paranoid than ever. He kept hearing footsteps behind him, but every time he looked back there would be no one there. By the time he got to the center he was exhausted. He had walked so fast in fear that 'someone' would catch up to him.

Alex greeted him almost immediately, causing Seth to jump slightly but put on a happy face. He didn't want her knowing how miserable he was really feeling right now.

Seth followed Alex into her therapist room and took a seat on a rather uncomfortable chair, that was placed opposite hers. Seth took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, but it didn't work as well as he had hoped.

"So Seth, how have you been since the last time I saw you?" Alex asked, a big smile on her face and a clipboard in her hands.

"Good, I guess." Seth mumbled. He really didn't want to talk about Jason, but he knew that it was bound to come up during their hour long session.

"Have you done much since leaving the hospital?" Alex continued to question him, seeing the discomfort on his face but knowing it had to be done in order to make him feel better.

"Not really." Seth sighed, he might as well start dropping the bombshell. "I went to my old house."

"Did you?" Alex had a look of surprise on her face. "That's a big step to take. Did you go there to get some of your old belongings?"

"Um, yeah." Seth said, looking down at the ground trying to hold back the tears he knew would be coming soon. 

"Was Jason there?" She asked, frightful of the answer.

"Not at first, but yeah." Seth stared to fidget with his hands.

"Did he harm you in any way?" Alex asked, preparing to write a lot of information on her clipboard. If Jason had harmed Seth, then she could write it down, collect some evidence and inform the police.

"H-he just strangled me. Nothing t-too serious." Seth whispered, thinking back to the horrible event.

"Seth, that it very serious and dangerous. Are you okay?" Alex asked, concerned as she scribbled everything down on her clipboard.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit shock up still. Roman and Dean stopped him when they got there."

"Well, let's be grateful that they got there in time." Alex sighed, feeling empathetic. "Do you have any marks or bruises on you neck?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked. You can have a look if you want." Seth replied, moving his hair out of the way. Alex took a quick look and started writing down more stuff.

"Do you mind if I take a photo of the bruises on your neck? We can use it as evidence to show what Jason did to you."

"Um okay." Seth agreed, gulping slightly. Why did they need evidence?

Alex took a few photos and then returned to her seat, once again writing more information down. Seth wondered how long was left of the session, but was too nervous to look at the clock. He didn't want to be here, but he also didn't want to leave in case Jason was waiting for him. Why was he so paranoid all the time.

"Okay, so we've got ten minutes left of the session. Is there anything you want to talk about that's concerning you?" Alex asked, a smile plastered across her face.

"Um, just Jason. I'm scared that he's watching me. I think he followed me here." Seth said, moving his head quickly towards the window when he saw a figure walk past. It wasn't who he thought it was.

"Why do you think he was following you?" 

"I don't know. I just kept hearing footsteps, but then when I looked behind me there was no one there. I think I'm going crazy." Seth replied. Dean wouldn't want to date a crazy person.

"Have you told anyone else about this?" 

"Not really." Seth said, mouth dry. How was he going to walk home when he was feeling like this?

"Well, I think you should tell someone. Maybe Dean? Just so that they can make sure nothing happens to you, if Jason is following you. I can notify the police, but that's all I can do in that situation I'm afraid. If you do run into him, stick up for yourself. You're better than him." Alex smiled, trying to lift Seth's confidence.

"Okay, thanks." Seth sighed. He knew that wouldn't work.

"That's the end of our session. I will notify the police for you and they should come and visit you within the next day or two for questioning, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Alright, well have a safe journey home. I'll see you next week." Alex said.

"Thank you, see you later." Seth replied, once again putting on a fake smiled. This was going to be the longest walk of his life.

__________

Seth had made it ten minutes away from the therapy center. So far, nothing had happened but he had heard numerous footsteps behind him. The sound of footsteps had vanished not too long ago, which worried Seth slightly. What did that mean? 

Seth continued to walk for another five minutes, the hotel was in sight. There was not long to go and Seth started to get his confidence back, but then it all left again.

A hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him into an abandoned alleyway. He was pulled behind the dumpsters and pushed against the wall.

"You tell that boyfriend of yours to give me my spare set of keys back." The person snarled, obviously it was Jason.

"I-I don't know what you're t-talking about." Seth whimpered, frightened for his life.

"Just tell him to do it, otherwise I'll slice your throat and make him watch." Jason threatened, his breath stunk of alcohol.

Seth felt weak, worthless and wasteful. Why was he, once again, letting Jason walk all over him? He wasn't weak. He wasn't worthless and he certainly wasn't a waste. He was Seth freaking Rollins and Jason had just crossed the line.

"You know what Jason? You are the most pathetic human being I have ever met. I don't know what I ever saw in you and I certainly don't know why I stayed with you after everything you did to me. I hope you rot in hell. Screw your spare set of keys!" Seth shouted, before punching the shocked man in the face and running away as quickly as possible.

He knew Jason wasn't following him, but he couldn't stop running. He needed to get back to the hotel. He needed Dean.

Dean was lying on the hotel bed, watching an old movie on TV when Seth came running in. The door slammed shut and Seth jumped straight onto Dean, wrapping his arms around the older man as he sobbed.

"Seth? What's wrong? What happened?" Dean asked, extremely worried about Seth.

"J-J-Jas-on." Seth cried, hardly able to talk.

"Jason? Did he hurt you?" Dean asked, face going red with anger.

"No. H-he tried to threaten me but I sto-opped him." Seth replied, still shaking from fear and adrenaline.

"What do you mean?" Dean was confused. What had Seth done?

"I-I punched him."

"Really?" Dean questioned, with a smile on his face. He couldn't believe it.

"Y-yeah." Seth said quietly, his cries softening slightly.

"Seth, that's amazing. I'm so proud of you." Dean said, happiness spread all over his face.

"You're proud of me?" Seth asked, not understanding why.

"Of course I am. You finally stuck up for yourself and gave Jason a taste of his own medicine. He definitely won't mess with you now." Dean grinned, holding Seth tighter.

"I love you." Seth laughed, finding it funny that his boyfriend was so proud of him for punching Jason in the face.

"I love you too." Dean replied. "No matter what happens."

The couple spent the rest of the day relaxing in their hotel room, cuddled up to each other.


	26. Under the surface, my love - Part 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's taken so long to update, I've literally had no free time to write. I will try my best to upload the next chapter tomorrow. This chapter's a little boring, but I had to get used to writing again. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.

It was early when Dean awoke the next morning, hearing a harsh knock at the hotel door. Who would be visiting at this time in the morning? Whoever it was, was lucky that they didn't wake up Seth with their loud knocking. That guy can be really grumpy in the morning.

Dean got up out of bed and made his way over to the door, unlocking it slowly. He was going to make the visitor wait for as long as he possibly could. It was payback for the early interference. 

When the door finally opened all the way, Dean was shocked to see two police officers standing opposite him in the hallway. One had a friendly smile on his face, the other looked rather impatient. Oops.

Dean felt rather awkward standing there in nothing but his boxers.

"Good morning officers, can I help you?" Dean asked, trying to think if he had done anything illegal this past week.

"Yes, are you Mr Ambrose?" The friendly officer asked, his name tag said 'Damion.'

"Uh, yeah that's me. What have I done wrong?" Dean gulped, confused as to why the police were at his doorstep.

"Don't worry sir, you've done nothing wrong. We're here to see Mr Rollins. He's staying with you at the moment, correct?"

"Yeah that's right, is this about his ex?" Dean said, relief flowing through his system. He wasn't getting arrested after all.

"We just need to ask him a few questions about Jason Bonoah." Damion stated, looking at his report book.

"That's his ex, come on in officers. Seth's asleep, so I'll just wake him up for you. Do you want a cup of tea? Coffee?" Dean said sweetly, trying to stay on the good side of the law.

"A coffee would be great please." Damion smiled, entering the room.

"I'll have one too, if you don't mind." The other officer said. His name tag said 'Rodney.'

"That's no problem officers, I'll just wake Seth up first." Dean smiled back.

Seth was very reluctant to wake up. Dean knew this would be the hardest part of his day. It was always impossible to wake the younger man up against his will, but once he realized the police were there he sat up and was suddenly wide awake.

"Good morning Mr Rollins, I'm officer Damion and this is Officer Rodney." Damion said pointing to himself and his co-worker. "We just want to ask you a few questions about Jason Bonoah. Thanks Mr Ambrose." Damion said as he received his coffee. Dean took this time to put on a shirt and a pair of pants.

"Um, okay." Seth mumbled back, slightly nervous.

"When was the last time you saw Mr Bonoah?" Rodney asked, as Damion prepared to write down Seth's answers.

"Uh, yesterday." Seth replied simply.

"What happened when you saw him?"

"I punched him, because he was threatening me." Seth whimpered, reliving the horrible experience.

"It's the first time Seth has fought back against him." Dean butted in, wanting to make sure the officers didn't take Seth's comment the wrong way.

"Thank you for your input, Mr Ambrose." Rodney smiled, not wanting Dean to talk.

"Please, call me Dean." Dean smirked, knowing that he was annoying the officer.

"Ok Dean." Rodney said, a little rudely. "Anyway Mr Rollins, we were sent some pictures of your bruises, so we know that you have been abused. Would you be able to explain how you got those bruises on your neck?"

"Um, me and Dean went to my old house to get a few things and Jason was there. But he wasn't there at first. He got there after a while. Dean was upstairs and I was in the kitchen. Jason came in and started to strangle me. I almost blacked out, but my friend Roman was waiting outside the house and came in when he realized that Jason was there." Seth said, his body tense at the memory.

Dean started to rub his back as a form of comfort. Seth relaxed slightly, but not enough to be fully calm. Damion scribbled everything down on his clipboard.

"And has Mr Bonoah harmed you before?" Officer Rodney asked.

"Y-yes. All the time when we were together." Seth stuttered, really not wanting to think about his past.

"Okay, what type of things did he do to you? Was it physical abuse?"

"Physical and emotional. He beat me up a lot, usually three to four times a week." Seth said, feeling sick at the though.

"Well, thank you for telling us this Seth. We will talk to Mr Bonoah soon and get back to you on what's going to happen. Chances are he'll go to jail no matter what, but we still have to talk to him first. Enjoy the rest of your day." Rodney said, standing up and leaving the room with his partner in crime, Damion.

Seth sat on the bed, numb. He didn't know how to feel right now. Everything had happened so fast. He wasn't expecting the police to get involved at all, let alone talk about arresting Jason.

Dean could tell that Seth wasn't feeling too good, so he scooted over to Seth and embraced him in a hug.

__________

Dean got a call the next morning from Hunter, asking when and if he'd be coming back to work. Seth was currently on sick pay for his recovery time after being discharged from the hospital, but he was fully able to look after himself so Dean didn't really need to be there for him. He could go back to work, but only if Seth wanted him to.

Dean didn't want Seth to become lonely, it might trigger his paranoia. The work hours are very long and Dean didn't think his partner would be comfortable with being left alone for that amount of time. He also didn't think Seth would appreciate being stuck backstage at the arena, sat down doing nothing.

This was definitely something they needed to talk about, but right now Dean had more important things on his mind. He wanted to know if it was too early for a marriage proposal. Seth had only just settled down into the hotel room, he was still getting used to things. He was also dealing with the stress of Jason, so he probably wouldn't want to add the stress of wedding planning on top of it.

Dean just needed to watch closely and see what Seth was comfortable and not so comfortable with, when it came to their relationship. In all honesty, they hadn't really been together for that long. A month, maybe more. Surely it was way too early to get married, right?

With the thought shoved to the back of his mind, Dean decided to go out for a jog, leaving Seth fast asleep in the comfy, king sized hotel bed.


	27. Swallowing stitches in her sleep - Part 27

1 month later

The court room came into view as Seth stepped through the large, wooden, double doors. He was being escorted there by a police officer. Dean was sat among the crowd on the opposite side of the room.

Seth was pulled over to a podium and told to stand there, as the police man took a few steps back, still lingering over him slightly. Seth felt trapped. Surrounded by officials, witnesses, juries and the man himself, Jason. This was not a place he was comfortable to be in.

The crowd stood up and welcomed the Judge, who walked in wearing his honorable wig. Seth instantly felt intimidated by the older man staring down at him. It didn't help that his attacker was standing only a few steps away from him, completely unguarded.

The crowd sat back down and the judge began to talk. Seth felt an unnerving feeling flow through his body. Something wasn't right. Jason started walking around the court room complaining that he was bored. The police officers didn't even notice his movements.

Seth tried to speak up about his concern of Jason, but was immediately tackled to the ground by a group of officers.

"Mr Seth Rollins, The Jury and I have come to a decision. We find that you are guilty of the crime." The Judge spoke loudly, with a wide grin on his face.

"WHY ME?" Seth shouted, he had done nothing wrong. "DEAN? HELP!"

Dean sat in the audience, not taking any notice of Seth's pained screams. He just smiled slightly, like the rest of the people in the crowd.

"Your punishment, Mr Rollins, will be to spend the rest of your life with Jas-"

__________

"Seth?" Dean called out, shaking his partner out of his deep sleep. Dean had been awoken by Seth's piercing screams. It wasn't the first time. "Seth, wake up."

Seth began to stir, confusion covering his face at first but then he realized where he was and relief filled his system.

"D-Dean." Seth cried, grabbing onto his boyfriend and hugging the life out of him.

"Shh, calm down. It was only a dream." Dean soothed, rubbing his boyfriends back. "Was it the one about the trial?"

"Y-yeah." Seth stuttered, still a bit shaken up.

"You need to stop worrying about that. The trial's already happened and you know that Jason was found guilty. He's in prison now, baby. You're safe, you've got nothing to worry about." Dean said, holding his sobbing partner closer.

"I-I know, but I c-can't stop dreaming about i-it." Seth cried even more, he really hated having nightmares.

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this baby, do you want me to call Alex and arrange more therapy sessions?" Dean asked, knowing that Seth would hate the idea.

"No, I don't like therapy. I don't need it anymore."

"Please, just go to one session for me? I promise it will help." Dean pleaded. He just wanted Seth to get a good nights sleep for once. He had been having these nightmares ever since the trial.

"O-okay, but only cause I love you." Seth sniffed, starting to calm down a bit.

"Thank you, I love you too. I'll call her in the morning. Let's get back to sleep." Dean whispered, letting Seth bury his head in his chest. "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight." Seth yawned, before falling asleep. This time he didn't have a bad dream, instead he dreamt of nothing.

__________

When Dean woke up a few hours later, Seth was still fast asleep. There was no way he was going to wake him up, the poor thing needed as much sleep as he could get. 

It bugged Dean that Seth was having these nightmares. It wasn't fair that he had to deal with them after everything he had already gone through. Couldn't the guy get a rest? Jason had already done enough damage, but now he was somehow adding more by appearing in these dreams.

Dean grabbed his phone and left the hotel room, standing in the corridor to call Alex so that he wouldn't wake up Seth. It was still early, but this was now turning into an emergency. Alex picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" She greeted, her cheery voice filling Dean's ears.

"Hey Alex, it's me Dean, Seth's boyfriend." Dean said, wondering if Alex would remember him. It had been three weeks since Seth's last appointment.

"Oh hey Dean, what can I help you with?"

"Well, Seth's been having nightmares every night for the past two weeks now and I was wondering if you could set up an appointment for him? He's really struggling to sleep." Dean sighed, wishing Seth could get better.

"Of course I can get him an appointment. Let me just look in my planner to see when I have a free slot." Alex said, Dean could sense that she was smiling her usual friendly smile.

"No problem." Dean smiled back, even though they couldn't see each other.

"How about tomorrow at 2:30pm?" Alex suggested.

"That should be great, thank you so much." Dean said, relief flowing through his body.

"Alright, no worries. I'll always have time for Seth, between you an me, he's one of my favorite clients." Alex said, making Dean laugh.

"Well that's good then." Dean said. "Thank you once again."

"No problem, see you later."

"Yeah, see you." 

Dean ended the call and walked back into the hotel room. The first thing he did was write down the time of the appointment on a sticky note so that he and Seth wouldn't forget.

Dean had work later on today, he had returned to wrestling the week before. Seth did complain about being lonely all the time, but Dean tried his best to text him and call him as much as possible. He planned on taking Seth with him to work today. It had been a while since he had seen everyone.

An hour had passed and so far, Dean had drank two coffees and watched an episode of Catfish. Life was boring without Seth being awake. Now he knows how Seth must feel when he's at work. Dean was about to make a third coffee when Seth started to stir.

After a few moans and groans, Seth woke up.

"What time is it?" Seth mumbled, with his eyes still shut.

"Ten o'clock." Dean replied. "Coffee?"

"Yes please."

Dean made two cups of coffee and gave one to Seth, who had woken up a bit more over the last minute or so.

"Do you wanna come to work with me today?" Dean asked, hoping Seth would feel up to it.

"Um, yeah okay." Seth agreed.

"Good, I need you there for hugs." Dean smiled. "I've booked you an appointment with Alex for tomorrow. It's at 2:30pm."

"Okay, thanks." Seth sighed. "I hate talking about my problems."

"I know you do, but it'll help with your nightmares." Dean replied, sympathizing with his boyfriend.

"Thanks for looking out for me and for always calming me down when I have nightmares."

"You don't need to thank me baby, but you're welcome." Dean smiled, giving Seth a hug.

The two men ordered and ate their breakfast, before making their way to the arena.


	28. You're feeding on my restless soul - Part 28

Once they arrived at the arena, the two men headed straight for the locker room. Dean had already settled back into work nicely and he managed to get along with everyone who he shared a changing room with. He mainly spent his time with Roman though. Brothers gotta stick together.

Seth was a little tense as he entered the room full of his previous co-workers, people who had hated his guts and gave him dirty looks only a few months before. It seemed like only yesterday, when they were completely ignoring his presence. Now they were all over him, asking him how he was.

Maybe they felt bad for being dicks.

Seth however, did like the company of one particular person. Xavier Woods. He had always been kind to Seth, even after he betrayed the Shield. They weren't friends at all, but Xavier would always come over and talk to Seth whenever he looked lonely and Seth appreciated that.

Seth ended up leaving the locker room with Woods and a few other men, including Tyler Breeze and Big E, to go and film a gaming video for Xavier's YouTube channel. Dean had the biggest smile on his face when he saw how much fun Seth was having.

It was time for Dean's match and he was more than prepared to kick ass. He had Seth in his corner, so nothing could go wrong.

Apart from him losing the match, but that was in the script so it didn't count.

When Dean got back to the locker room, he noticed that he and Roman were the only two people there, minus a few other men who were in the showers. Dean took this time to talk to Roman about something he had been thinking about for a while.

"Hey, Roman can I ask you something?" Dean said, feeling a bit awkward. This wasn't a conversation he had experience before.

"Sure man, what's up?" Roman replied, smiling his big Samoan smile.

"Um, I don't really know how to phrase this but, when is it an okay time to ask someone to marry you?" Dean asked, not knowing if that had made much sense.

"What do you mean? Like night time and day time?" Roman laughed, knowing what Dean meant but trying to wind him up.

"No, um like how long should you date someone before you ask them to marry you?" 

"There is no answer to that. It depends on how you feel at the time. If you think you and your partner are ready to take that step, then go ahead and do it bro." Roman said, smiling at Dean's love for Seth. It was also quite funny to see how nervous Dean was about the whole situation.

"I guess that makes sense, thanks Ro." Dean sighed, still unsure about the whole thing. Was he ready for that? But most importantly, was Seth ready for that?

"Why? Were you thinking of asking Seth?" Roman asked, seeing the struggle on Dean's face.

"I don't know. I don't think he'd be ready for that. Maybe he just wants me to be his boyfriend and not husband, he never talks about marriage or anything so he probably doesn't want to get married to me." Dean looked defeated.

"Dean, don't be so stupid. The guy is head over heals for you. He's probably in the same position that you're in. He doesn't want to mention marriage in case you reject him and say you don't wanna get married. Just go for it. If he says no then you can just stay as a couple, simple as." Roman said, sternly.

"Yeah but it's not as simple as that." Dean moaned, getting agitated. 

"Look, if you think it's too early then wait another month or so, but don't wait too long. You never know, he might be waiting for you to ask the question." Roman smirked, giving his brother a pat on the shoulder. "Anyway, I'm heading to the hotel. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, peace out man." Dean laughed.

Dean met up with Seth and they both made their way back to the hotel where they got a good nights sleep, apart from Seth's nightmare that had them both awake in the middle of the night.

__________

Seth was on his way to the therapy center. He felt a wave of dread wash over his body, therapy was not something he liked attending. It wasn't something he enjoyed doing and quite frankly, it was a waste of his time.

He made it just in time to his appointment and was rushed into Alex's room by the woman herself, who looked rather excited to see him.

"So Seth, how's everything going?" Alex asked, smiling. She didn't have her clipboard or notepad on her this time.

"It's good I guess. I played video games with my friend yesterday." Seth said awkwardly, he knew she would ask him about the nightmares sooner or later.

"It's good that you're socializing with others." Alex smiled. "Now you probably know why Dean booked you an appointment, right?" Looks like it came sooner, rather than later.

"Yeah, I do." Seth sighed.

"Do you want to tell me what happens in your nightmares?"

"Um, they're always the same. I'm in a court room with Jason and Dean's there too, in the audience. Then the police tackle me and the Judge says I'm guilty of a crime and that my punishment is to be with Jason." Seth rushed out, hoping the sooner he said it, the sooner he could leave.

"Do you think that this could link to you feeling guilty about something?" Alex asked, thinking about what the message might be behind Seth's dreams.

"I guess, but I don't know what one thing I'd feel guilty for. I feel guilty for everything." Seth sighed.

"Like what?"

"Ruining my relationship with Jason, not being good enough for Dean, not going to work even though I'm healthy now. The list goes on." Seth said, trying not to cry.

"How could you have ruined your relationship with Jason? He was the one that hurt you on many occasions. And I can tell by the look in Dean's eyes, when you were in the hospital, and the worry in his voice when he called me yesterday, that you mean the world to him and more. He really does think a lot of you. And work wise, that's your choice. You don't have to go to work if you don't want to. There's no reason to feel guilty about it." Alex said seriously, but she still had a smile on her face like always.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Seth sighed, feeling a bit better. "Thank you."

"No problem. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"No, I don't think so." Seth said, feeling happy at what he had achieved in this session.

"Okay then, call me if you need me. I'll see you later." Alex said in her usual friendly tone.

"I will do. See you."

Seth left the session feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He was glad that Dean had made him attend that session.

Dean got back from work that night and was greeted by a big kiss from Seth. They fell asleep in each others arms and for the first time in two weeks, Seth slept the whole night through without getting any nightmares.


	29. Between your lips and mine - Part 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit short, it's just a filler chapter really. The next chapter (The last one!) will be a lot longer with a lot of stuff happening hopefully. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

A few weeks had passed and Dean started to notice a change in Seth's attitude. He hardly ever spoke to Dean and never made plans to meet up with people. When Dean asked if he wanted to come to work with him, Seth said no.

It was unlike Seth to be this way. Even when he was going through some of his darkest times, he would still make an effort to talk to people, especially Dean. Even Roman could see a difference in him, on the off time he saw the younger man. 

To put it in simple terms, Seth was feeling lonely. He had no friends to talk to or hang out with and Dean was always at work. When he got back from work, Dean would go straight to bed, too tired to have a conversation. Seth felt left out, even though Dean would ask if he wanted to come to work with him. He felt like it was a pity ask.

Either that, or Dean didn't actually want him there. He would only ask so Seth didn't get upset, but obviously that didn't work. Seth was feeling more alone than ever.

He debated whether or not to arrange some therapy sessions, but decided against it. Alex probably wouldn't want to see him. He's too much of a burden. Right now, no one wanted to see him or talk to him. It was like the Shield breaking up all over again. He was either hated or ignored.

One night Dean got back home from work to see Seth sleeping. At first he thought it was adorable, watching his boyfriend sleep but then he noticed how swollen his eyes were and the dried tears that stained his face. That was the night that Dean decided to put an end to whatever was going on.

Seth opened up about his feelings the next morning and Dean felt like the worst boyfriend in the world. How could he let Seth feel that way? He thought of things that he could do to make Seth feel better and eventually he came up with a plan.

__________

Seth was sat up against the head board of the hotel bed, his legs pulled up to his chest, as he waited in silence for Dean to get back. He had had a boring evening, watching TV and thinking about how much he wanted to have friends that he could talk to. Minutes later, Dean walked through the door.

"Hey baby." Dean said, slightly out of breath from rushing home.

"Hey." Seth replied back, not looking towards his boyfriend. He wasn't in the mood to be ignored as the other man slept.

"So, I've got the weekend off from work." Dean said, sitting down on the bed next to Seth.

"What? Why? Are you hurt?" Seth asked, shocked and concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Dean smiled. "What you do need to worry about however, is what you're going to pack in your suitcase tonight."

"What do you mean?" Seth was starting to feel a little nervous, Dean was acting rather strange.

"Well, it just so happens that I have two plane tickets for Paris. One for me and one for you. The flight leaves in four hours so you better hurry up and get ready." Dean laughed, loving the look of happiness on Seth's face.

"Are you serious?" Seth asked, over the moon.

"Of course I am, why would I lie about that?" Dean laughed.

"I don't know." Seth replied, throwing himself into Dean's arms and holding him in a tight embrace. "Thank you so much."

"You don't need to thank me. We need this time together."

Once Seth had finished hugging Dean, he grabbed his suitcase and packed as much as he possibly could, making sure not to forget anything important. He then went on the search for his passport, which was for some reason in the bathroom, under the sink.

Dean had already packed his stuff earlier on in the day, when Seth was showering, so he spent this time watching and laughing at Seth running around the room trying to find everything. At one point Seth tripped over his own foot as he was rushing to unplug his phone charger.

"Don't laugh." Seth said sternly, giving Dean an evil look and pointing at him. Dean's face was bright red from holing in all of his laughter.

They eventually made their way to the airport and did all the stuff that people do at an airport. Check in, wait, line up, get on the plane. Seth slept during the entire flight, Dean didn't understand why he was so tired. He never does anything that involves movement. Dean on the other hand, slept for an hour but then decided to watch a movie. He could sleep once they got to their hotel room.

Speaking of which, Dean booked a five star, romantic, room for the both of them. They were in Paris, so a little love was needed.

They arrived at their destination and got off of the plane. Once they collected their bags, they made their way to the hotel. Seth was in shock when he saw how beautiful the room was. The first thing he did was run over to the bed and curl up in the blankets. Dean was soon to join him and they both fell asleep, holding one another close.


	30. My Heart Is on A Pendulum Tonight - Part 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking a break from studying to write this. I can't believe this is the last chapter! I remember when it was just an idea in the back of my head and now here we are. I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read and been involved with this story. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Seth awoke with a massive smile on his face. The sun was shining through the thin, net curtains, brightening up the room. He could hear the birds singing a beautiful song as they flew through the clear, blue sky. Exhaling a deep sigh of relief, Seth looked behind him to find Dean snuggled up against his back.

Dean's arms were wrapped protectively around Seth's waist, making sure they were as close together as they could possibly be. The comfort of the other man reminded Seth why he loved him so much. He was everything he could ask for, and more.

The gentle rise and fall of Dean's chest soothed him as he watched his lover, peacefully sleeping. What did he do to deserve such an amazing, caring and beautiful person? Seth would never understand why the world blessed him with Dean Ambrose. He was grateful to have him though.

Dean slowly started to stir awake, making a few soft grunting sounds as he wrapped his head around reality. His breathing was still smooth and gentle, the relaxed atmosphere wiping off on him. When he saw Seth looking up at him he smiled a sleepy smile.

The two men stayed snuggled together in bed for another hour, relishing in the beautiful moment. It wasn't everyday that they got to relax together without having to rush off to work. Both men took full advantage of the fact that they were free. For the next few days they could do whatever they wanted to do.

"I have a plan for tonight, but it's a surprise." Dean said gently, stroking Seth's hair out of his face.

"I love when you surprise me." Seth smirked, trying to think of what Dean might have up his sleeve.

"Good, cause you're definitely gonna get one later." Dean laughed. "What do you wanna do today?"

"I don't know, maybe get some brunch and then go sight seeing?" Seth suggested, loving the idea of food. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until now.

"Sounds like a plan. I'm gonna have a shower and get ready." Dean said, giving Seth a small kiss on the lips before getting out of bed and entering the bathroom.

Seth took in a deep breath. The room was so peaceful and he loved it. He slowly, and reluctantly, got out of bed. He got dressed into a pair of grey skinny jeans and a simple Tap Out T-shirt. Nothing too exciting, he was leaving his smart clothes for later.

Dean came into the room, hair half wet and half dry, wearing a similar outfit to Seth. Jeans and a T-shirt. Seth smiled, loving how his boyfriend could always look hot no matter what he wore.

"You ready to go?" Dean asked, putting his shoes on. Seth copied his idea and slid on a pair of black converse.

"Yeah, let's go. Can we get crepes?" Seth asked, really wanting to try the dish.

"If you want to." Dean replied, grabbing the room key and unlocking the door.

__________

The two men had just left the French cafe. Seth had crepes with chocolate spread and strawberries, whereas Dean enjoyed scrambled eggs and sausage. Both men enjoyed a nice coffee.

"Where do you wanna go now?" Dean asked, holding onto Seth's hand as they walked down the city streets. It was in fact the city of love.

"We could go to the Arc de Triomphe?" Seth replied, having researched some tourist attractions earlier on when Dean was in the shower.

"Alright then."

The walk to the attraction took quite a long time and since it was rather sunny in Paris, both men were sweating and out of breath.

"So much for romance." Dean joked, trying to even out his breathing.

"Shut up." Seth replied, hitting him playfully on the shoulder.

The Arc wasn't very peaceful or romantic. It was in the middle of a busy round-a-bout with cars speeding past it. The traffic was terrible in Paris, Dean was kind of glad they walked instead of catching a taxi. Despite the fact that it wasn't romantic, Dean and Seth made the most of their sight seeing. Overall, it was an enjoyable day.

The two men made their way back to their hotel room after hours of walking and collapsed on the bed. They decided to take a quick nap, since they were both exhausted. After an hour, Dean woke up and changed into some fancy clothes.

He was wearing a white shirt with a black blazer and some black trousers. He planned on taking Seth to the Eiffel Tower for dinner, and then he had a little surprise in mind.

Seth awoke quickly after Dean, and also got changed into some fancy clothes. A black shirt and blazer and a pair of black skinny jeans.

"You ready to go?" Dean asked, patting down his pockets to make sure that a certain something was held safely in the folds of his clothes.

"Yeah, let's go." Seth replied, unaware of what was going to happen. He knew they were going out for dinner, but that was it.

Once they got to the Eiffel Tower, a waiter escorted them to the top floor where only a few tables sat. Dean and Seth sat down at their table, which was overlooking the beautiful night life of the city, and ordered their food. The romance had definitely arrived now. 

The two men enjoyed their meal and even had desert. At the end of the night, Dean finally worked up the courage to do what he needed to do.

"Seth?" Dean said, grabbing the attention of the younger man.

"Yeah?" Seth replied, looking in his direction.

"I love you." Dean smiled.

"I love you too." Seth said, laughing at Dean being all lovey dovey.

"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Dean arose from his chair and got down on one knee. He pulled a small, black box from out of his pocket and opened it, producing a silver ring. "Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

"Dean, yes! Yes I will." Seth replied, with a big smile on his face and a few happy tears running down his cheeks.

Dean placed the ring on Seth's finger and the two men hugged, sharing a much needed kiss. The city of love had finally brought them together as one. And in that moment, when the two men were sharing such a special moment at the top of the Eiffel Tower, Seth realized...

He was everything Dean wanted him to be, and more.

The End.


End file.
